I am
constantly at the funeral of the present passing.
I don’t know how to weep with new expectations in
mind.
the grasp of this last time I will see of it, is
haunting.
life goes on anew and the past is fleeting behind
that rush.
I would like time to stand still for a moment but
that’s me.
the confirmation of expectations is constantly
choking me.
whatever rises up to engulf, soon falls away as if in
waves.
(the future is cursing inside of me but clearly
asking),
where would I be,
without memory as a constant flotational reminder?
I am in a carwash of thoughts as suds yet no end in
sight.
there is a motor running I can sense the rumble of it
but I don’t know what vehicle it is that I am riding
in
or if this vehicle is actually only just me.
I don’t know how to make a right turn for the life of
me.
everything I have to say only reflects the past.
I can’t get current for the life of me.
does anyone know how now works?
and can we get there from here?
maybe it’s that,
I only live for this outing of now . . .
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