the when of evolution 4/30/20

when personal evolutionary is a concessionary gain

is when, all else has broad-spectrum failed.

it's when anomalies gain adequate-self in recognition,

when falling up, as it were, becomes acceptable,

is when, to the ends-of-the-earth 

is a personal horizon line worth approaching,

when all else has profoundly flat-line failed,

then evolution comes one's back door.

doesn't ask for approval,

gains recognition from deep interior places in reach,

does not readily meet any cultural or social standards

but feels right as an operative initiated from within.

it's hard for it to make its claims 

but adds interior wealth to the being.

each person's lifetime is a whittling in that direction.

for some it is as if a branch to their being

while for others it's only recognition initials 

carved into the bark on their tree-like stand . . .

the absence, there of 4/29/20

we are fundamentally

the substance of 'the absence there of',

where quantifiers are breathless in appraisals,

where language is but orphan glitter

in nose-dives and up-risings of absentia,

where embodiment is the closest one could come 

to the nearness displayed 

by the expression of isness,

where presence is impressively non-definitional, 

where consummate is the all 

that awareness boundlessly offers,

where the task of memory 

trails off into seamless oblivion,

where all sense of audience 

has been serenely vacated

in the free-fall of particulars,

where all of meaning 

has lost all definitional means,

and where we surrender 

our capacity for knowing, 

for all of the oneness, 

we are . . .

the medium of understanding 4/28/20

in our reality, 

understanding is not the top priority.

it is the media of impotently passing time.

it is a quality of mind stir,

much like filling helium balloons.

at some point, 

they either deflate or fly away.

those that fly away 

are colorful as memories.

those that deflate 

are on the ground for eventual venting.

understanding creates a sense of occupancy,

is armament against next moment's intrusion.

there is a sense of momentum to its murmur.

it provides for fallback awareness by recognition.

for some, it goes on easy 

and functions as widespread.

while for others, 

it's the wrong seasoning 

for the meal at hand.

some people stockpile for future events.

others are a blaze of attention 

and then ashes as the past.

understanding, 

a medium of self-conscious attention, 

not a top priority,

but comes with directions, 

designed to be meaningful . . .

the curse of being cast 4/27/20

the curse of being cast

as expectation does all that dirty-work.

might as well hand me 

a set of rules and regulations.

I have to work my projection

as my handshake of agreement

for as long as I meet 

your expectation checklist,

we are good to go.

I can be loose around the edges

and we can be acquaintances 

if I am at all inspiring

then my apparent strangeness 

could be included 

in the packaged friendship deal.

if I am on your menu to order

then close friends might provide the setting.

if we are to be in a formal close relationship

say, partners of some sort,

then all bets are off.

you are waisting your curse on me.

equals of any sort don't abide by being cast.

you get what you get

from what is being first person offered.

the rest is for you to ponder,

grow from, inquire, contemplate,

blab about to others or be inspired.

anything above and beyond that is karma!

expectation has many different residences 

of receivership.

the privacy of your curse

should be a life-path of discovery for you.

expectation is only the parody of

having someone reread you the same story

over and over

as if your sense of audience 

is precious to all others . . .

secrets (haiku) 4/26/20

secrets are always 

so selflessly simplistic 

yet clothed in silence

sacred as the flow 4/25/20

I am only passing as human

that is my fallback position

lots of times I awake

and I am not in human form

I am not in any form

I am a feel beyond any claim

I don't let my mind in to claim it

it is not a categorical

it is not legendary to reflect on

it is as its abundance

a portal flooding with presence

yet undefined 

I can't put a self to it

I feel sacred in service to its flow

a nectar from out of nothingness

becoming evident in its receivership

coming from a home 

that claims no residence

but bountiful beyond reason's reach

what wisdom 

that does not reach for words

I am an expanding lostness

in full view

my completeness has no occupancy

but I am passing a human

we are that dance

laden with the recent as evidential

but always sacred as the flow . . .

the beyond of quantum entanglement 4/24/20

for expansive focus to be poised

it has to exist in an immersive state.

it is not so much getting results

as having profound interactions.

it is lucid beyond comparative truth.

it is beyond the bounds of paradox,

being the backstage for all belief claims.

it is more far-reaching than 

existential angst as feeling's over-ride.

it is more comprehensively complex than

prefrontal cortex as our experiential occupancy.

it cannot be categorized as a non-ordinary state

because there is no deliverance 

to an otherwise experiential witness environment.

witnessing the witnesser is ever complete from within.

there is a possibility of quantum lucid connectedness

beyond the use of what animated language could provide,

a kind of conscious coherence 

beyond self conscious luminous reductionism,

as a journey that does not dignify a sense of return

and transforms sensory out of an audience perspective

into intrinsic elemental energetic dynamism,

demystifying the time-space continuum as strategy

yet bathing in the sweet-spot of quantum awareness,

becoming inspiration that has no audience 

but only vibrational high frequency membership

to live consciously beyond boundary-ness 

as collective conscious human mass-mentality . . .

the cross-examination of questioning 4/23/20

(ever so contemplatively slow)

what does what mean?

why does what mean?

when does what mean?

how does what mean?

so where is truth? 

and who is who knows?

what does why matter?

why does why matter?

when does why matter?

how does why matter?

so where is truth?

and who is who knows?

what is when is relevant?

why is when relevant?

when is when relevant?

how is when relevant?

so where is truth?

and who is who knows?

what is how's work?

why does how work?

when does how work?

how does how work?

so where is truth?

and who is who knows?

(what work they do

and for whom?) . . .

the end of ordinary states 4/22/20

the end of ordinary states

every observation has that potential

yet we all abide by

sanguine in the grasp of familiarity's paws

we preach recognition as a religious pretense

yet longingly hunger for 

the bleed from the cutting edge

who within us has the handle on that blade

where from within does the crayon cross the line

when does the unthinkable 

step out from behind the bedroom curtains

where is the internal peddle for exhilaration's call

we search the planet for peak experience

assuming it is an outward stimulation

when the real work is internal

how to perceive, to grandly perceive

how to rewire the seen-it-done-it-been-there

so as to be in receivership from within

to view the mundane into ecstasy

to take the humdrum out of experience

to make the heavy feet of conclusions 

learn how to dance into delight

ordinary is only a mind-state habit

self-scrutiny has the power of leverage

titillation only needs an experience cover

as it means

to the end of ordinary states

while the real medium is 

within one's keen . . .

the death of meaning 4/21/20

there are those nanoseconds between thoughts

when no sense exists

easy to spend a life 

looking past any of these

as if the crease between page turns

but they are there

and in there are free falls

elaborate vacuous voids

no identity, 

no proof of worth

no sense input reaching the brain

but not empty either

yet undeclared 

by meaning's gushing assistance

what if 

it is the death of meaning

as life saving terms

where existence is not proof there of

where physicality is all cane work

as the walking stick of the material plane

to provide answers 

if there are here to for questions asked

hard to spend extended periods of time there

more difficult than general body balance

a world without meaning's pushy assistance

there is no time for courage to explore

can't take those tools of cognition

and their recognition escort equipment

just full-bodied vacancy

not relational as a greeting style implemented

maybe the come-on is high contrast

but then that is already a fall-back response

it's time off from everything as known

time-out from being in the know

even if meaning is discovered 

to only be a pretend

it is familiar and convenient 

and otherwise apparently constant

this is altogether preparedly unapproachable

it is happening all of the time

but exists without notice 

as a means of intervention

so what is that?

is it just the mass of you in occupancy?

is it just like rocks or dirt or organic matter?

for whatever, it has its own composition.

it has continuance as your physical accomplice 

so does meaning save any of us

or is meaning just along for the experiential ride?

we ride the physical

but is meaning ever in charge?

with the discovery of these integrative voids,

it seems like meaning is a glorified pretend

not that meaning isn't full of directives

but seriously,

meaning may all be corrective in nature

meaning is sort of a surrogate state of existence

in which you can't question the questioner!

so, is the mind the headwaters of the river of being

or the podium with an active microphone?

maybe that nanosecond void is not empty

but seriously exhilarating 

but experientially not available

by our style of awareness or account

so we must remember

as a working premise,

void is void until it is not

anything more or less

must be something else . . . 

myself as my job 4/20/20

retentive mind is pillaging the present

life is on assignment

I am a photojournalist for the self

read and edit all the time

the staff of me is an avid audience

went on line with the mouth

having a following is encouraging

hardly ever in the studio 

mostly in the field

use to free-range 

for what was of interest

now, mostly have agenda directives

a timetable to pursue

feature others of like kind

rarely anything front page

or initially make headlines

for whatever now is

I make it into copy of interest

this is myself

as my job . . .