understanding’s drift 2/28/19

understanding is the tip 

of the human cognitive iceberg 

as ever forward think 

is becoming the melt-down.

deeply sun-baked daily, 

as by information overload.

fathoms of fluidity 

make buoyant the self of float

such is the journey 

of basking-in-experience

towards the eventual returning

to the ocean of oneness 

as in the all 

of the immediate embrace 

of the vibrational surround.

mind-full is the surrender

to the liquidity of the heart

that knows 

that the state of sacred 

is only ever

an acquiesce away . . .

prolonged ecstasy 2/27/19

prolonged ecstasy 

brings an end to experience 

as audience beckoned or provoked.

prolonged ecstasy 

leaves the time dimension 

yet without forwarding expectations 

or the trance 

of impending fallback memories.

experience, in this light,

is without recognition’s frame

as if an unencumbered vastness 

of joyless joy.

what had the lockdown name ‘prolonged ecstasy’

comes into existence 

as fountaining presence,

without understanding’s firmness

or comparative truth’s deductive fix.

isness exudes nuanced and unnoticed.

the mind is not the carrier 

or an impetus 

for being any more.

there is an ocean of constant movement

as of the subtle interactiveness of everywhere, 

through and within every thing 

that was deliciously describable.

now, only some of it appears 

to humanly happen  

as if ‘representing’ a you . . .

I want for 2/26/19

I want for . . .

language to impart

all of what the deep-seatedness of intent discloses,

for self-occupancy to be filled 

with the residues from sound,

for where no current thought leaves 

anything to the past,

where there is the now-embodiment

without the restraint of time,

where I can fully relax

about the whereabouts of all substance

and the fronting that form takes as occupancy,

where thing, any thing 

always has a voice

that, in its constancy, is heard,

where absurd 

is not unconventional in nature,

where nothing also passes threw as sacred

and is not just passed by,

where language was the tools of the past

in the efforts of defining,

but in the now, as speech, 

is as the sound of unity, unconfined,

where nothing has forgiven the void

of the assumption of emptiness,

where no sounds are left to wander off

in their utterances,

and that I cannot save anything heard

by understanding,

and that no one can come at me

as if I am separate from them . . .

experience is foreign 2/25/19

the texture of experience is so foreign 

as a feeling of itself

even though the particulars are 

when in my presence, soothing

but the sensing screens often get cluttered 

the hum of next coming 

is always in the background

I seem to be regularly victimized 

as unsuspecting audience 

the feel of being a bystander 

is too impersonal to me

many times the retentive mind account 

is too demanding

the need for logistics and understanding 

weighs upon me

the reality-frame of it 

is sometimes a burden to carry

often times there are outbreaks of opinions 

and side-bark remarks coming to exchange

yes, I seem to succumb 

to the in-my-face subject matter

and my enormity gives way 

to the frame at hand

the time travel like this 

is burdensome

although I do like to surrender 

to the downpour of rain upon me

and the tongue-lashings 

that come my way on a breezy day

but otherwise experience is

food for thought, crumbs of disclaimers, 

and subsequent clean-ups of the mind

when I would rather have 

the basking of a new moon night sky

and be overhearing of its silence 

as its faraway 

in somewhat muted dialogue . . .

honestly now? 2/24/19

honesty is only the bandwidth of attention span

then the murmuring picks up from within.

the chaos chorus is humming, 

looking for reality lyrics to pronounce, 

but gets by with lip-sink to oneself.

cynicism is the choir director

when the lead internal soloists 

has fear administered laryngitis

yet still heard internally as loud as necessary

to give the exterior projection a false shame.

honesty use to have the decency of innocence.

but the duplicity of life affords the paradoxical truth

to take on a complexity of human nature in each of us.

as for now, honesty surfaces like a koi fish

that assumes there maybe food for thought

at the surface of the moment pending.

an honesty can appear there as an open mouth

ready for words to appear in a surface response.

so, say what? 

(whatever comes to one’s innocent mind) . . .

for then.

paradox for profit 2/23/19

when paradox is functionally used for attention-grab

duality of the mind is eating itself for profit by others

when observation becomes curiosity-tourism

the mind does the traveling

but the body sees no action as movement in return

just the holiday of controversy by headlines

we created a value terrain

where there is profit that comes from both loss or gain

depending upon how it is pitched to the public eye

morality becomes the pitchman barking forth

eventually ‘who cares’ has lost its above ground decency

sure, we still care,

based on bloodlines and cashflow

but otherwise, we are all reduced to sympathies

as if that is a bleacher seat 

at a ‘thank-god, that isn’t us,’ showing.

as we continue to explore the syntactical nature

of how we do being conscious for fun

but mostly for the shady-side 

of the ignorance of others for profit . . .

human nature 2/22/19

all human relationships are quizzically rhetorical in nature.

expectations, as if they exist,

are grounds for the reveal.

really, ‘I thought that you thought that I thought’,

gets discovered ongoing.

as my M.O. gets reported by you to me,

as yours gets reported to you by me,

of course, ever so slowly, over time.

surely, there was the initial act outs, shared and otherwise,

but then, there came the premeditated kind of act-outs,

given the feedback from the expectations revealed

to the other, going forward.

and so, who I am to you is born into 

being a character to you

and likewise for me of you.

discoveries that I make about myself

are thereby fully assisted by you, kindly so.

yes I can say that!

while I assume that is also true for you, 

in your light.

no one said before hand that this would be so

but really, it is one of the side-benefits to me.

not that I don’t appreciate spontaneity and forthrightness

but also familiarity is a form 

of supreme associative comfort.

eventually, for us as separate but together

less lines spoken out of need 

and more read into, as we travel on

that says it all of itself 

in this way,

yet quite rhetorical 

as revelations softly approaching 

to each of us, 

as human nature . . .

oneness explained 2/21/19

all people want for next words to come

to dress up the laments and the disclosures,

to have human touch 

without the need to reach,

to be confirmed ongoing 

without the sense of a self 

as the immediacy of an assumed disclaimer.

can the river of humanness be felt

even if it is socially constructed

as an ongoing bucket brigade?

the nighttime was intended

to be a comforting blanket

for the all of us 

in measures of warmth and snuggle.

what happen in the night sky

that got us all to doubt and bicker?

is there a place where no love is lost

that is not held hostage by reminisce? 

where the past, 

as if there is or was a past,

is not just the composition of backlash 

as upsurge returning?

where do we exist 

as if unified, 

covered in the expanse of complete?

that is where my sense of embrace starts,

where we are the land

of undying spirit,

ever in the refresh, 

as breath is the hand in my hand 

guiding the all . . .

ways to start a caring 2/20/19

caring is the ushering of heartfelt-ness,

to a place of common wealth

from a campfire, exuding warmth,

to make common,

a mutual light from deep within

as spirit to spirit would ignite.

a tinder nest of resourceful awareness

can cause this flame to occur.

sure, rocks of personality can do this,

sticks from different sorts of folks can also.

the spinning up of a conversation

over the notch of meeting 

can provide for that spark.

caring, we are all kindling 

yet not everyone is flint to steel

or a magnifying presence

to produce smoke into flame.

and sure the commonness of conversation 

can be a source of conducive friction, 

enough to be a start-up as a flame.

caring, can be light to the world,

any time of the night or day . . .

remarks (haiku) 2/19/19

perfect compliments

die in the saying of it

but live in the being

the self-imposed capture 2/18/19

the current of the dilemmas

as the momentum of the obvious,

the private opinions 

of those who mutter to themselves,

the anxieties hung up

in the cathedral ceiling of the spiritual self,

the conclusions held in strict confidence

that burden the day,

the topics that hide the truth 

from being present and presence,

the views of the world 

as if it is a constant,

featuring the nuance psychology involved in

the beleaguerings from the hence-forths,

as if the downloads, then subsequent aftermaths,

maybe also the upgrades, the send-aways, 

and the con-sequences,

as well as the do-pauses, versus the in-do-times,

the way-backs versus the out-skirts

the live-it-alives or the just plain hot-airs.

everything that is perceived as out there

is obviously the happening in here.

yet, just made all inwardly observational 

to represent what is, in this moment.

sure, just a fabric of labels

that all open inner dialogue doors.

stories and projections that pour into frame,

all sanity-approved,

as mundane a mind-frame 

as could go on 

in this muttering-to-oneself journey.

yet entertaining a false sense of stimulation

as thick as the day is long.

one can be amused 

by the self as a poignant observation also

but still, be caught 

in the self-imposed capture . . .

questioning the questioner 2/17/19

the eventual personal need 

to question the questioner 

inside oneself

who of me authors 

these first line of questions?

what are the premises 

that foster these questions?

who of me originated 

these questions to start with?

what assumptions existed

that this me used to work with?

where did the formulation 

of those assumptions come from?

can those somewhat original assumptions

be first person personally examined?

what if, in the deepest sense of personal truth

those assumptions really don’t apply

and maybe to me a discovery

that they never really did?

so how did that happen

that I am lead into a projection of myself

that falsely represents and directs me

into the future of my life?

and am I now assessing by historical merit,

proof of worth, 

logic based on happenstance,

lack of deep self-clarity,

reactive motivational need 

to overcome current self-predicament,

deeper callings from within

that I have successfully avoided 

but keep haunting me

into some sort of action and follow through,

or just the time in my life

when I need to reconsider my circumstances?

maybe when I get to the bottom of all of this

there aren’t really original questions

as much as there is a calling.

besides the mumble-jumble of justifiable existence

I have a sense of drawnness.

if I was the predicament of my circumstances

totally consuming and distracting,

then what calls me out?

where would my illogical drawnness take me?

when would I realize the strength of my being

to actually dedicate my time and energy

to comprehend and contemplate 

how would that be

and what would it look like in action?

then to question the revelations themselves

more deeply.

not from a proof standpoint

but from a sense of self

as disclosure of drawnness revealed.

almost a deeper sense of self 

that existed within

but was in comprise 

by reality as circumstance and storyline.

the discovery of untapped internal resources

of being, of calling, of creation.

the work of the questioner’s questioner.

carving at character to get to creature

to get to self as source . . .

know of yourself 2/16/19

if you truly love yourself

you have to let go 

of proving your worth.

self-censoring by social context

has to surrender

to letting it all 

unconditionally come through.

as long as experience is your payoff for life

you are only an audience to your own existence.

you hurt yourself with depictions

but you heal yourself with presence.

eventfulness 2/15/19

eventfulness is a primary experiential provider 

to self-consciousness as its substantives

but it is also a major disservice 

to the other-wise consciousness of self

as a confluence in the confetti-mind 

by being detailed distraction-filled.

an event is a prop-fest of elements

animated into a story unfolding.

you are your now audience 

to the intake of what is happening around you.

eventfulness is the addiction of stimulation

as one’s primary attention.

it is in high contrast to the simplicity of being.

act-out is at a premium for display.

there is a parade of ongoingness before you.

spectatorship is highly expected.

self-consciousness is tagged for re-stimulation 

over and over again.

the seduction seems to be culturally ordained.

but eventful goes back to intake.

the style of self that perceives 

and the core of self that is aware.

eventful is a circus version of attendance.

what is always wanted out of every experience 

is the spiritual enterprise of being alive.

in communion with the inner flow

that finds expression in the world around.

the want is for eventful to be unimpressive

but inviting and involving.

to be an extension of one’s feeling nature expressed.

where self dialogue is not lost or abandoned

or buried in the overwhelm of the surround.

eventful should be as original as in-breath

and as consuming as oneness beyond shared.

if I had free tickets to the eventfulness of now

would you want to come? . . .

chemistry, 1 on 1 2/14/19

feeding off the pheromones of you

there is an instant blush-imprint

of color recognition from your hair.

I can spot you store-wide 

amidst the topography of people and goods.

distance physically from you is only time 

but not evidence of our closeness.

you are a swizzle to my chemistry, 

wireless speakers inside my head.

reality is too many carpeted rooms of you.

I am in need of a walk in the forest of you.

a reality check for ideals and drawnness to occur.

I need faceless jigsaw puzzles 

to discipline myself away from colorific, 

just shape-seeking from refined focus.

teach me that without saying a word.

I have futures of gratitude yet unpaid.

being-persons feels like a checkerboard existence.

I don’t want move-upon-move as registered

as if we are always dancing

and the music will come

from the instruments by how we interface 

as just tuning-forks

all dressed-up as humanoids of distraction.

but we wear each other beyond the know,

is all that matters 

yet without substance, definites, 

the escort of logic and sensible storylines to follow.

some call it chemistry

as in feeding off the pheromones of you . . .

here for the caring 2/13/19

we are emotionally ordained for confluence

but we are mentally educated and entrained 

towards contrasts and comparisons.

unity versus identity

empathy versus concern 

nuance-comprehension versus principled-rhetoric 

where psychic feel versus all-inclusive observation 

where innocence’s exposure versus steadfast account 

where the impulse-override of spirit versus strategies executed

it is that we all have enterprise,

some for the livingness 

while others for the rewards,

some for the creativity

while others for the story-ability,

some for the channeling

while others for the execution.

so heal me with visions

or hurt me with details.

I am in your presence by understanding

but I am of your heart by the tone of your voice.

oneness has no exceptions

just the various methods of entry. 

so you would think 

that I am saying all of this to you

but you would feel 

that you are only subtly over-hearing yourself.

we are all here 

to hear for this transformation,

and thus, we develop caring 

as a middle ground entity.

for want to take the elements of the collective

and work towards the presence of the coalesce.

to take the bundling of kindness 

and move towards the embrace of emersion.

to get from the concern of think

to the feel of whole heartedness.

to get from the mind-field of identification

to the sovereignty of a oneness of trust.

from acknowledgment of love

to connective intimacy of being,

from successfully sailing upon the oceans of the world

to the constant feel of the subtle currents of the planet,

from the fluid participation in the circadian 

to the shared human vitality of life-force,

from collective topical concerns

to the psychic feel of the species,

from a great sense of timing

to the intuitive of the moment,

from the human collective

to the spirit of enterprise,

and from shared acknowledgment 

into personal revelation.

caring is carriage

from the here and now

to the eternal as ever lasting . . .

from the beyond of existence 2/12/19

the existential privilege of being 

is a greater encompassment 

than the sense of self-consciousness, 

enraptured in proving its existence.

a conscious being is as an oversoul 

for the collective of hearts

in the nearby surround of beings

that abound.

to be as a conduit 

for the spiritual enterprise of others

is a gift of spirit as presence.

we all have that as a possibility

but few lend themselves 

to such a service.

for there is a need 

for clarity of surrender

to higher cause 

and then higher purpose

then the calling 

that reality generally demands.

to see into the depths of oneself

for this to occur

is a blessing for all

and a path less traveled by most.

one as a lantern or a lighthouse 

stands in a clarity 

that serves in the rewards of giving

as singularly just cause for being

from beyond the existential predicament

of existence itself . . .

how you know 2/11/19

today, how you know 

is more important 

than what you know.

maybe you assume 

the innocence of facts

as easy observational.

but observation has become an agenda.

attention is a currency of worth.

mind-fill is designated for profit.

it isn’t who you are any more.

it is now about how you graze

in the faceted sense of wants and needs.

there is leverage to be had

by those in search of monetary profits.

and since reality has become the act-out,

everyone is in need of props.

eat props, wear props, and do props

or be seen-props, head the list.

and the key to all of these props

is the self-story-able think props.

do we all succumb 

to advertisement as guidance?

acting out is a positional stance.

maybe even a pronouncement of self as worth.

have we all given-in to contracting 

for the alliance of self with others?

is this a form 

of machiavellian psychological waterboarding

done within the thinking processes 

we assume that are available?

are we leveraged but not attuned?

how think works is under attack.

what you think is sacrificial offerings

to get how you think captured.

how does one talk sense into oneself

when they are feeling like a lost soul

on a destined ship sailing to where (?).

when one has become addicted to constant

as a philosophy for living,

as a way of life

and as a medium for thinking to occur,

change then introduced seems unnatural.

change is cause for apprehension

and self doubt.

at the point chaos is myopically personal.

one can resort to clamming-up.

fear has its postures and projections to occupy.

there is a conveyer-belt of secrecy and agendas 

on the move but not declared as such.

confirmation-on gets more interest in clamor.

when does face-to-face reside

that actually answers to the feel of life?

if all content becomes a means of distraction,

then when does context get revealed as leveraging?

when do I get to explore how I think

beyond what I think?

can I have a self-witness within 

that watches and observes how I think?

can my think come back and be in service to me?

I want my methods of think 

to foster courage, joy, caring and creativity,

and my life as an expression of such.

what the hell happened here?

(and I don’t want just pat-answers….)

caring, the conundrum 2/10/19

caring has become its own conundrum. 

being relational has it own consequences.

even before the topic at hand can be addressed,

it is as if we all need the same common enemy, 

the same common disaster fronting us communally.

so as to say, did you see what I saw?

did you hear what I heard?

did we register together in a common response?

if so, then that is grounds for the caring to begin.

think of it as a very public form and forum

for a collective intimacy to occur called caring.

we all love it when it happens.

but most of us have lost the starter kit

to make it genuinely happen.

catastrophic or calamity are instantaneously start-ups,

fiasco and mishaps, not so much.

woe and flop, more of a ‘say what?’

caring done en-masse with a common mind

is what we could all live for.

community with animated purpose,

a livingness installed into each and every day

but without the disaster to start it

that would be excellent to live there.

caring as an outrageous means of presence.

the sun would rise in my eyes every day,

just looking out at the world before me.

how come that is not the current case?

I could have the heart for that.

zen of emotion 2/9/19

the zen of emotion

has no wings.

not leveraged by wind.

has it

that emotion is everywhere, 

in flight.

a never landing omnipresence.

always alight, ubiquitously. 

not the bother 

with the dovetail of details.

but always the effect

from the inhale of breath,

was before the mind takes hold,

even before the universe is perceived

as seeded with particulars,

and yet, dimensionally confluent 

beyond the reach of mindfulness . . .

harmonious 2/8/19

hating me 

is the mirror of me 

reflecting 

your unresolved 

and possibly unexplored 

emotional existence.

I am displaying 

the billboard of you 

that you reject 

to first-person

intimately address.

I am somehow singing the song

you don’t want to hear.

I am acting out a theme

that is a point of contention

within you.

I hear you are giving me

a scramble of tumultuous lyrics

that I seem to be singing inharmoniously.

yet we are amazingly dynamic together

for the evolution of humankind 

alive on the planet right now.

damn, how paradoxical 

and yet humanly rewarding can this get?

hating me is not the opposite of love.

it just means I am way off key 

but we are still dynamically harmonizing.

we are definitely in the songbook together.

but seriously, what page are you on? . . .