since expectation is a method here to stay it seems,
what is the crux of the matter that makes it so cruel?
expectation triggers some sense of internal elevation
yet also withholds the full blossom of reward.
it feeds on some sense of anticipation and yet, restraint.
there is buoyancy and orientation.
perspectives build towards future points in time.
the past, as memories, is a flood, asking for reoccurrence.
the senses are primed to be aware and rewarded.
whatever is triggered is kept in extended but elevated wait.
that which is the secretion of imminence is overflowing.
that which appears to be looming is but only out of sight.
that which is impending already enkindles towards delight.
that it is supposedly forthcoming is anticipation’s might.
but what is the internal mechanism of expectation’s affect?
the brain’s secretion of some chemical that warrants this?
when is it that we generated these external switches?
it is, as if by expectation,
all the experience switches on our internal motherboard
are external and mandated
by expectation’s method of operational framing?
is it the past in reclamation,
demanding a recognizable future?
expectation so stampedes the present as if it only exists
to reproduce what is already been experienced,
whether favorably obliging or profoundly apprehended.
now is only in transit, as a slave to the cause.
it is a practiced technique of heavy dependency.
what would it be like, for any of us
to find or spend a day
without the weight of expectations? . . .