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Monday, October 17, 2016

boredom as breakthrough 10/17/16

boredom is a sneaky form breakthrough.
it’s a kind of in your flatscreen face savior
but by seepage.
eventually all of the methodology of boredom is suspect.
the way hexed motivation works is also under surveillance.
the perceptual style used is even accused to be in cahoots.
it’s like everything new is still regurgitation of sorts.
there is cease and desist beleaguering moment’s response.
motivation becomes like a snakey firehose, out of control.
makes you wonder how freedom is also a wall-less prison.
somewhere there is a bottom-out as a possibility.
let boredom take you by the hand to your throat
and leave you alone, ops I mean lead you along,
first, there is topical boredom,
ever so slightly nipping at your face
as if a series of postcards you already seen fifty times,
as if once,
then there is the great conclusions of cloudbank boredom,
as if you farted in a jammed elevator
and everyone present has spoken to you about this
over and over and over.
and eventually if you persist,
there is the bottom-out bottom-line bore-hole boredom,
where even an inhale is steeped in boredom
upon lung arrival and from the deep of there,
breakthrough boredom is genuinely possible.
the deal goes like this:
you assumed boredom is an “it’s out there” condition,
only to realize after much repetition and suspect repetition,
there is just not enough variety of out there, out there.
then it gets to be sort of a mood thing.
emotional horizon lines start closing in from all directions.
a frame of mind infection of convention starts pounding
and, if lucky, by an observational deterministic style,
you persist beyond your verbal reactions to the incessancy. 
you get it and you get where it has gotten you!
it’s you, always was, you
and your manner of how you do you.
you assumed the world was there to be a turn on,
like external switches for fun and excitement
and the novelties for just filling your day.
permission-granteds just waiting for you to attention grab
but no, it was never the turn-ons from the exterior world.
it was always you or me or everyone else within themselves.
yet boredom gives us the thorough possibility of discovery.
boredom will flog us.
it will attempt to utterly drown us.
boredom is day old vomit with a greeter smile on it,
staring back as if a sick visual repetitious cliché.
boredom is shallow breathing constricting every thought
as a straight jacket on ‘same old same old, reoccurring.
boredom is breathing the same air over and over
until a kind of effortful exasperation becomes obvious.
the breath, the thought, the heat, the smell, all closing in 
and lastly, there can be that shift, that finally spoken secret
to the joy of the moment, to the isness of our being.
it was never dependent upon external prompting to occur.
all those face-full falsehoods from experience were the past
as if we needed permission to enjoy our being ourselves.
boredom will allow us the deep clarity to source directly.
boredom is a form of permission granted breakthrough.
it slowly builds, includes all the complexities that exist
and with honest self concern
and with an internal witness of self consciously on board,
boom, like an environmental shift.
what was out of focus, out of frame, becomes evident.
it’s just us, yes, just us, not really bored
but doing being bored, that’s the distinction that matters.
not that we are really really bored
but just doing being bored.
if we get behind that sense of self as scenery
and the in your face reality-drama as feedback
and face the ultimate beauty of boredom as this facilitator,
then what we get is that we did it to and by our self.
and we can return to review it, the method that is,
whenever the entrapment reoccurs.
oh the blessedness of boredom as a form of breakthrough.
if the onslaught of that boring from then
becomes the breakthrough to now,
then boredom, for benefit, has been fully embraced . . .

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