I am, what in this moment, means to me,
and nothing more.
The trail of where I last left off is fading.
And where I am coming on to, to fill that void,
is the mind-movie where recognition is saving me,
keeping the movement of familiar as my inner balance.
As if in thoughtlessness, I might decompose,
fall through earth,
sin no more,
witness beyond my means,
say the unspeakable
to where everything around me becomes ears listening.
How is it that this free-fall of consciousness
keeps landing on meaning rising up
as a continuous evaporative stream
that I swim it upwards towards light.
Am I gasping for self-reconnection that knows me well?
What is this fabric of integrity woven through me,
that keeps the march towards my death, buoyant ?
I am gaging on this emptiness fulfilling me
as by desperate measures, I still make these claims.
It is less like an unending slide show
and more like a flyswatter series, fast approaching
that I seem to survive
as every swat is this moment in passing
although the swatter itself
is experientially decorative and imminently so.
I need a rewire to my internal motherboard.
Time only reprimands but does not resolve.
It is a greeting line I am using to help identify by.
But this swaddling is also suffocating by my own grip!
I feel like we are all water bugs playing bumper cars
on a reality lake desperate for brain-rain to fall.
I would even take seepage if it was offered.
Frenetic to me, seems like a state of the calm of mingling.
Surely I know better then all of this.
But I don’t seem to know how that know works,
get me to the beyond of beyond of all of this!