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Saturday, May 28, 2016

all content lies 5/28/16

from my eyes and ears of experience
all of content is ever this room-full of voices
all talking in my head at once, both louder, softer
fixating me on their view, but just yack in my ear
then my account of anything is their distorted view
the court of law for this moment finds me
unreliable as a witness to this realism 
everything I identify has a face of passivity
but yet a loud continuous whisper inside me
they all talk at once, baiting me
waiting indifferently on my next move as sanity,
I am fronting their lie, our collusion as a conspiracy, 
the optics, as I have it, is to distort to confirm me
these as a swarm of pseudo-conformations on my behalf
Inanimate objects are the worst, as indifferently so
they are lifeless to act in my world on their own
then there is nature that sort of interrelates with me
but their attention is on something more deeply rooted
beyond my attention span and needs
and then there are animals, creatures, varied in kind
oh I have hope with almost every one as encountered
translate their movements into gestures,
their sounds into responsive speech with me
but all is as content, inanimates, nature’s wildness,
and all these creatures, they all exist as content, that lie
to speak the truth of me, is our collusion
oh yes, we agree to agree but not the truth of our beings
my accounts have depictions, references, personalizations
we are not the same to each other by experience of itself
all the content, composed of this consciousness, lies.
I can’t tell you the truth, I can only live myself as it
I have no content
I come from before content
but language will not help me express that
language codifies my existence at the mercy of content
for me, as bafflement’s prison and no one seems the wiser
content is my body of knowledge as I live into it
life is not a means of getting this conundrum out of me           
no, I am not blaming anyone or anything
for there is no wrong place or wrong time
but if truth be told, as in the content of telling
I can’t wear this well and feel at home within me . . .

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