promise from the focus land 2/20/18

promise from the focus land,

feeding on images before me.

naming all the familiars has a calming effect.

settling into a soft boredom.

curiosity gets the visual pointer out,

declaring foreground and back.

conclusions register as bland.

even wind-aided as a visual enterprise

does not hold attention for very long.

idle landscape overwhelms with the obvious.

any animation gets a stir of short interest.

there is almost a mind-fade

as the exterior world passes the lack of interest test.

mesmerized is the external visual holding pattern,

thoughts as images juxtapose.

latent with memories gets a chance at rediscovery.

feelings paddle along in the mix.

there is potential looming

but it functions in waste-high boredom.

the list is checked at to what to do.

listless tends to organize at this time.

any fallback option could come to the surface.

but then, oh a surprise,

a deeper focus asks,

who of me is doing being bored?

taking focus back into intrigue.

who of me sort of offers that up

as the only option at hand?

wait, how does that work?

how do I do being bored?

where in me is that coming from?

tracking back, what else is there going on?

hanging out in this room of me

made up of assumptions that I hardly address.

some sense of me holds that all together as a constant,

a gather sense of self living in conclusions made

and supposedly spoken for from within.

there must be dozens of requests denied in here.

nothing spontaneous could happen.

everything is slow drying invisible self-goo.

how does this boredom get made?

and why am I housing it so strongly?

well it’s definitely made from conclusions

and they are kept current as some sort of protection,

some sort of don’t go or don’t do or don’t think about it.

it’s hard for a new thought to have a life in here.

it is as if my bags are packed to go nowhere

and that appears to be the secret but evident plan.

damn, I’m just going to lay back here

and watch boredom do its thing.

this is remarkable and embarrassing.

this has probably been here for, decades.

where and how did I learn this boredom thing so well?

I am self-stunned.

I am buzzing and nothing external is happening.

I am going to re-watch the look out of my eyes

with the whole internal mind game at play

and discover who is doing what for me internally.

who would have thought that focus was such a gift.

this is a deeper layer, like a meta-discovery.

this is travel but in a new and different way.

there are surprises and discoveries all around.

it’s like I have a tree-house and a spy-cam

all inside me and all the time I need to play.

what is happening to my boring life?

I have a river raft to float above the boredom

and a sky hawk as internal to watch over my shoulder-me

and the inner journey is on . . .