I took out a flashlight to see in the dark.
I bought into the light-dark thing,
the know-not-know based on perception,
well, the perception thing, based on senses.
I mean the obviousness of the senses,
the whole external world impression overwhelm.
I turn down the quiet and turned up the loud.
got good at loud and obvious and external.
like that was the experience game,
so I learn it.
so this is how camaraderie actually works,
yet I have spent my entire experience life
chasing after a connection
that doesn’t work that way.
I wanted vibes,
an intimacy without the wherewithal,
an inner recognition that bathes me without effort,
something beyond the use of language,
a knowing that saturates me inside out
without confirmation
or even a probable storyline.
that would be the metaphor of the same heartbeat,
the same breath,
no compliance or refusal,
a viewing, as a seeing, as a being, like no other
yet not out of contrast to the rest of my living
but deeply beneath,
beyond and yet through.
not a denial of the external
but expansive without definition.
I don’t mean to get heady about this
but when another person is the expanse of you,
the effortlessness completes,
without riddle or solution,
that you settle in your being
and feel source-filled ongoing.
beyond the direct and immediate experience of that,
a different sense of being comes in to play,
more than taking on being a body as a person,
a sense of spirit
without all the over and under tones quips,
no more at affect of the light-dark storyline.
yes, it is all still there
but held in a greater expanse,
as my person has soft enormity
while occupying form.
I am less of separate and more of fluid connectivity.
maybe even less I
and more the feel for the grand of we.
from there, it is hard to not want that for everyone.
maybe that is the point,
that we are all there for the wanting.
we’re just a greet short of that as complete,
where experience as such,
is that flashlight in use
and night vision is that knowing
from the soul . . .
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