it came down to this

it came down to this,

the view of the stream was inviting,

not just visually,

but also bodily enticing.

yes, I could feel an urge,

already see myself shoulders deep,

sighing some sort of relief remark,

as if continuing in an inner conversation

that now became verbalized,

as if to surprise me.

even though I thought myself to be alone,

the refocus was for a point of entry.

yes, soothe was the goal,

but the raw presentation of nature itself

was very commanding, in a respectful way.

I was so appreciative of this in passing,

as a kind of intimacy, 

but widespread overall.

now, just working towards nudity in nature,

as uncomplicated as possible.

stream entry was delicate step-downs,

underwater visual beauty 

versus foot placements,

and, of course, the seizure of water weight 

and the temperature shift arising.

not a jump in or lunge, 

just expectation appeasement satisfied,

a descending embrace, 

as needed envelopment.

whole thoughts racing by me,

as the physical over-registered as completing me.

somewhere in the back of my mind,

the thought arose,

that every moment should be like this, ongoing,

that it was up to me in how I perceived,

rather than how I chose, 

how I self engaged, 

rather than what I could name it, as it is.

how I already had that space internally ongoing,

but wanted it to be interactive with the world around.

gee, how crazy was that?

I'm immersed in a stream pleasing me

and I want it to be a way of perception,

beyond the dilemma of situationals or circumstance.

I don't need internal self talk right now,

that is asking me,

what planet do I think I'm on.

this doesn't feel crazy to me, 

in its sense of privacy expressed.

certainly feelings would have to be creatively involved.

it's not about the world impressing me,

but clearly about inwardly coming 

from a state or a space, 

where I am the magician of my broadcast.

I am the generative feelings of this wherewithal.

yet, I don't want to leave this spring-fed experience.

well, at least until I have sourced a deeper sense of myself,

than being impressed with this setting to start.

sure, it is real around me.

but I made it the richness of my experience.

somewhere within I exuded a pleasantry,

that captivated this environment, 

as special to me,

which further enhanced the immersion.

nature is such a great confidant. 

where all of my talk

is surrounded by deep listening,

as if I, myself, 

am all ears in an audience of this too.

nature, in its presence, yet deeply providing.

here is an intimacy ever present and all around.

it's all magical.

and I allow myself to be fully aware of this,

from the inside of myself 

on out to the world.

and so it came down to this.

and now I will rise with it,

deeply engrained 

and ever-rising from within . . .