a closet-depressive

a closet-depressive 

has a vending machine existence.

face-side, appropriate responses 

are acceptably presented.

sometimes even mirroring 

those that face them.

but the inner workings 

are barren of upliftment.

there are incomplete sentences, 

said to oneself,

as the inner dialogue has night time, 

written all over it.

for audience, 

there is an up-take mode.

as a presenter, 

there is carriage and animation.

almost a song and dance 

is constructed to serve.

but the inner aloneness 

has isolative properties.

no inner topic addresses with keenness.

silence has the loudness of labor intensive,

but no action outwardly expresses in deeds.

there is invisible luggage carried along.

the daily journey is a made-up 

of distractive destiny.

there is an aura of falsehood looming.

for it is hard to stay in character,

when inner isolation and doom 

are ever pending.

there is no cutting edge 

for breakthrough potential.

for there is sacred inward carriage 

of a shallowness of spirit present.

all of life is modeled 

into a protective present.

living has its full-blown and its bleakness.

one could say heavyheartedness 

is a start place

from where to search 

for the deepest source.

there is nothing to explaining all of this,

until the language presented to another

has deep emotion meanings implied.

to help is to witness self-help occurring,

to end the myth 

of that kind of deep isolation,

to provide for a priority terrain to be seen,

that otherwise has no presence 

of self in existence.

some dry wells run so deep,

that only echoes can be initially presented.

for there are deep canyons 

of undisclosed, present.

even revelation will always have 

a backstage presence

but as a vending machine.

giving people 

what they have come to expect,

only furthers the vastness 

of being self at a loss.

depression has issue-boundness 

invisibly engaged.

no topic is a set-free option.

the whole process is 

a chrysalis undertaking,

where the dynamics of depression 

become the elements of transitional gain.

having been hurting within details,

then become means of awareness 

into leverage.

a stone flies,

sullen wallpaper has a chapter heading.

the bleed-out turns into a wellspring.

contradictions were just examples 

of bad posture.

gloom was only an inner fog, 

now in passing.

so next time 

you approach a vending machine,

look at and into the reflection,

as duplicitous a task as that is. 

what do you see

and who of you is seeing . . .