the lifeguard of cynicism
is where the personal watch-tower of self
is filled with critical views
as the protagonist for needed protection.
there is ever-urgency of this watchfulness from afar.
how high and mighty is muted, yet stands in reserve.
fool-me-once generates a guarded internal narrative.
if so, when does self-dialogue
become the ever-watching private self-lecture?
the self, as a bystander of course, with reservations.
the keep-safe sense of self that is ever near by.
for there is a place within
whereby you know you are being self-watched.
monitored while internally producing accountability.
some people are always in character,
no matter the wide range of their circumstances.
maybe their projection is a pretend
but appears to be necessary,
for all of the screw-ups that could possibly happen.
some accomplished, showing incidental merit
while others, lending to long-term gloom.
there is a buoyancy to cynicism,
but also featuring a silent distance to all-in.
there can arise an eventual venting exposed.
the what I thought before, that then becomes
expectations that challenged the worth to start with.
in cynical modeling, history repeats itself,
but the vulnerability to the act or event
has been carefully minimized by cynical account.
therefore monotone never becomes colorific.
the conversation of intrigue is only overheard.
belief has a hammock in a private woods.
do-me-a-favor has appropriate distance respected.
impulse lives under restrictive house-arrest.
spirited conversation can only happen then,
when cynicism is guaranteed to have the last word,
as if viewed from that watchful tower
overlooking a vast ocean of potential dismay . . .
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