meaning's task

 

what is meaning to you,

behind the surface of understanding?

what implies definiteness to occur?

sure understanding provides a defense,

an ability to give an account for action.

but what permits, encourages, initiates,

and from where within does that occur?

decisions give it an appearance look,

besides self-consciousness being 

on the receiver side.

but what else beneath that, 

is the means of action?

how does and where from, 

does all this occur?

sure meaning gives it a conscious wardrobe,

but if one was so inclined,

where to search within,

to find the internal kinetics that respond,

to what triggers,

what resists,

what implores,

and what explodes?

those specifics that go on 

beyond exposure's means.

there is some energetic format in place,

that has a code,

a self code.

not a reality code, 

but a self code,

as a deeply internal means 

of interpreting input.

yes, it all has meaning.

but some of it has import,

like a deeper translation set to self code,

which all may come to appear as, 

likes and dislikes,

attractions and repulsions,

interest or avoidance.

but those truths may never take on 

formal language.

they just attract or repel, 

demand focus or plead with fade.

all this integral workings that goes on,

but are well beyond meaning's stance.

not even part of 

common self's internal view,

but back there,

working away deliberately, 

yet almost in silence.

I don't need the why's of it.

I am searching for the how's of it,

the template behind brain usage, 

so to say.

the vibratory of the sacred search of self.

who of oneself gets to be privy to that?

is it supposed to be a sacred journey,

to know of oneself in deeper ways, 

than reality's format imbibes?

there is all this energetics going on

and yet we seem bound 

by reality interpretives.

and those answers are empty 

of deeper source.

they collaborate at agreement,

in that we all agree to agree.

but where are the deeper insights 

into being?

I am not ever sure 

that understanding will suffice.

maybe transformation is in order.

something that meaning doesn't answer for.

during a human life,

there is this compelling yearn,

for something of depth, 

beyond the answers of knowing.

something by experience terms, profound.

something from within,

that compels and emerges from within,

a sense of being beyond circumstance

a rightness 

beyond meaning's capacity to answer.

it is not a knowing per se,

but an authentic calling.

not a self destiny.

but a greater expanse of sense,

a serenity of integration unfolding,

a dance before motion has just representation,

a universe from within, 

yet abounds all around,

a phantasmagorical that is a serenity source,

a sense of being, 

but not grounded in a self,

a conduit existence of channeling spirit, 

as enterprise,

a witness that has no parts, 

but presents as the all.

where meaning was but a flotational device,

used upon the sea of self-existence,

until the ocean within was realized to be,

that of the all. 

and when language was still used 

as a livingness provider . . .