my need for closure
is a false front,
a way at staring at the sky
as if weather affirms my whatever decision.
assessment of this stoppage is a mind-state.
I hear-see applause by perception cueing me,
as a sequence of conclusions rolling along,
as if an ending affirmative is presenting.
it is like bedsheet covers demand,
as if sleep is then called upon,
a shift in the visual field,
as if new recognition confirms the termination.
just because I cease and desist behaviorally,
does not make for completeness as mind-ending.
there are streams that travel underground
within me.
I don't know closure as resounding.
half-thoughts linger below the horizon of awareness.
they peek out randomly.
this process is not a rope course demanding
or pylons pleading for order to be observed.
closure can be like the fading light of a sunset
or the fall of the last fruit from the tree
or never ever to be fully complete.
I am not saying in the wisp of nostalgia either.
just out of the blue a faint ripeness can occur,
a link that has embodiment from within,
and I am to demand its absence immediately.
fluidity does not happen for me in that way.
closure has a completeness from a very different status.
maybe only by evolution do I experience closure.
but then, closure is still in the honoring
of what it supposedly is not.
keeping track of the absence
is only a false sense of closure.
no confirmation is at all possible.
closure then becomes a theater term,
a bank term, a political usage of the term.
but closure as an operative in my world?
confluence, yes,
but closure not real . . .
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