part one:
the retentive mind as dis-ease
The disease of a retentive mind
is a process disease.
It is a dis-ease of itself
that comes from intentional efforts
and therefore results in a style
that retentive mind comes to accept
as standard stressful process.
It requires an indelible memory.
It asks for observational skills
in full operation.
It functions
just short of a nostalgic memory
and can respond to recall efforts
on demand.
Besides all the visual input
dedicated to memory,
there are these inner voices
that assert side comments
and notational quips,
addressing peripheral events
with immediacy
in a sort of internal code.
Of course,
there is the failsafe storage
of facts from conditioning
of all kinds
and a veritable tool chest
of common sense responses
stockpiled for imminent reactive usage.
Along with this repertoire
of appropriately clipped answers
to short term memory
in recall situations among friends,
there are the fatal flaws
featured by recognition;
quick observation and surmise,
interpretation towards immediacy
and certitude
as subsequently being the first
to verbally response,
the words and phrases of summary,
the monotone of thoroughness,
the cadence of finality,
the delivery of a final say,
the short fall of dismissed deduction,
the gloss of curiosity
wasted on cynical discharge,
the resounding bellow
that measures for the space
of an ear shot distance
and the surveying glance
to meet all the potential eyes
who have been verbally addressed
and the final stamp
of recognition’s approval
which is the triumphant rant
as consensually celebrated approval
by the grand collective applause
of silence from everyone
in situational attendance.
After all,
recognition is
from its onset to its final cord,
a conclusion process
and the retentive mind is home
to many assumptions and
hidden agendas carried forward
as baggage for life
and the makings and fixings
that go unnoticed
until they appear as disease
and surprisingly so.
Each of us is so absently creative
beyond the call
yet bound by these effects
and then to discover . . .
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