prettier than ordinary

prettier than ordinary,

that's on me to say.

comparative truth is wasting words.

even the mind style of observation

denies the essential truth of it.

it wasn't prettier

but it was attractive 

and personally impressive.

I was moved by it's singular beauty

but I defended myself by comparison,

as in saying, 

look for yourself,

when that, in no way applies.

what is provocative to me

is special from within me.

if I have glow

or am emotionally moved,

it's on me, 

from some where deep within.

esthetics awaken me

but from the inside out.

sure, I can say nature is beautiful. 

but really cause for inward response

is what I am truly after.

but that is difficult to have in common.

yes color bribes us all.

curvature has striptease potential.

but stand out beauty is inwardly activated

even before the projection 

that exterior beauty presides.

a light goes on inside me,

and I wish it were on all of the time.

but it is soon lost to exterior overwhelm

and I am living for another to come.

I am essentially a tourists of my inner self,

using the exterior world as a stimulant,

but working towards a self start sense of it.

mundanity reigns on 

my inner parade progress.

it is a slippery skill 

to develop and maintain. 

but any visual that sets me off from within,

is a breadcrumb for me to inhale,

breath in and rise.

I want heartfelt to be the same and constant

without outside stimulation needed.

just waves of presence imbibed

as ongoing as a conscious state.

where beauty is not 

an observation redeemed,

but a presence from within 

giving forth . . .