to clearly become 9/16/18

just here, as a bystander to my own breathing

as if always taking still-shots for thoughts

imagining my facial composition in response

creating access to my own judgmental facial posters 

then to share appropriately with my private self

this is all floating just slightly above 

the fast flow of boredom rushing by

I’d give my eye-teeth to see more clearly

but then that redundancy only runs into it self

some place within me

I have restless leg syndrome on the brain

not sure if anything can happen too fast

but I know that you know

that that is an audience response to being entertained

one of the secret contracts of language

is that there is a listener for the enactment

does talking to oneself fully qualify?

I am not sure if I am listening

or do I almost accidentally overhear?

yet, such a loud voice requiring no breath to speak it

the funny thing is that that voice never stutters!

some part of me pays more attention to my breathing

then I do

it’s like I am rowing a kayak in a tranquil lake

and my hands are more aware of the water than I

they are like otters with a task at hand

while I am somewhere between a palate of water colors

and a canvass of approval, mind spent

once in a while I have to convince myself

that what is happening to me, like this

is happening to thousands of other people

almost at the same time, but we can’t link up

we’re like a giant telescope staring out

at the same predicament of being

but can’t collectively connect the introspective dots

I really can’t wait for real to get to this level of share

without having to go to a major athletic event

to fake the whole thing as if we are only audience

still waiting for self-consciousness

to become, to clearly become

a common conscious mind

as a oneness thing . . .