the surprise of me

how surprise works

is out of the tedium of expectations.

somewhere in the gene pool, 

sort of unknown,

there exists the capacity to be surprised,

not terrified 

but genuinely surprised.

I feel for the fabric of my emotional being

and in general, its inner tailoring.

there is a weave that I live by.

for surprise to leap into the foreground

is magical in that moment.

I have a vast prairie of familiar, 

in waiting,

for my passing approval

and yet, there,

out of nothing imagined,

this appears.

I am taken out of my survey stance.

I am a blood-rush of curiosity arising.

my nervous system now precedes me.

even my body is in reaction 

beyond my grasp.

yes, there was an outward appearance

of something unexpected.

but for itself, it was not startling.

but to me,

in my realm of surveillance,

there was a shock to the system itself

and I am the experience of that rush.

my sense of balance 

corrects for itself quickly.

the pace of my breath will finds itself again.

the blitz from the unexpected 

into overwhelm 

has a knee-jerk of gravity account.

the blood-flow is elevated somehow.

the breath took on a life on its own.

the brain is waiting for its shoreline to settle.

there is almost invisible compensation taking place.

surprise is compromised into reaction.

there is a re-tethering 

of all of the self-operatives.

in a small the-clearing within, 

there is the rush of a response.

all of this in nanoseconds onto display.

and now the bathing in aftermath begins.

the voice surrenders to calming tones.

the rendering takes on a bask of charm.

shock has molted into amused.

expectation settles its ruffled feathers.

we will proceed, 

moving towards seamless again.

but surprise inwardly lingers.

maybe there is the birth of sheer joy.

wonderment has its inward flight.

can't say to what it feels like,

but appreciation inwardly abounds.

novelty in a facedown with humdrum?

and I was there, 

for the whole beauteous 

damn exciting thing . . .