Mind full of residence (3)

part three:

the festering of nostalgia

From the inward scar tissue

of repetition’s efforts

as the early workings

of a retentive mind

yet limited by it,

comes another path

not so diligent nor precise

nor laden with factual account.

It is retention

in the form of nostalgia

as the eternal festering

of nostalgia’s thirst.

It comes in the form

of an emotional switchboard

without literal instructions.

It could have been a factual account

of a memorable time

that has become

emotionally smothering

until there now is a soup.

A loosely gathered remembrance

fractured into a slideshow of parts

thrown back together

to produce memories’ rich brew.

Of course it becomes a sip-fest

hoping for that repeated

collective high.

The original impress

now has a life as a nostalgic pursuit.

Expectation becomes

an overly inbred state.

If memory

and the longing for it

can be cured properly

then the assumption is

that what happened wonderfully

the original time

can be recaptured

and revived once again as now.

This is when these inner forces

come to work against themselves

and elaborate longings

become the path

of emotional scar tissues’

greatest cause;

to give relief

from the vacancy of daily means,

to bring back the joy

once declared as so.

Something as simple as

another’s fresh face

or response of innocence

seems to give a kind of permission

to others that is otherwise

not forthcoming on their own.

Emotional availability

to this moment

has been lost by many

and the retentive mind,

however warped

by life’s

mysterious twists and turns,

offers an emotionally charged

possibility,

that of nostalgia,

to bring back the fullness

of being to the present

without compromise

or resistance from self

or within.

The smoldering of emotion

gives way to longings

as directives.

To be happy once again

if my checklist

of remembrances are meet

wither it be my perception

or your behavior

in combination there of

to retrieve blessed memories’

emotional reward once again,

but oh illusion of anew

that warms my heart

as only you

in my nostalgic projection

can do.