the savant of aging 12/25/19

the savant of aging

aging is a tug of war

in which an army of cells

work against opposing forces of living.

some internal, some not,

and you, as you are aware,

are the tensions of energetic rope existence 

and your consciousness is that online knot. 

supposedly starting at birth, 

right in the middle of the life-death struggle.

some parts seem endlessly easy

while others are both invisibly hard

and come seemingly out of nowhere.

expecting a long rope of relative constant success

but fatigue plays its part

both by moment to moment

and also by years stretched into decades.

a new you, at least every seven years.

the initial cheerleader of you is fearless,

casual and triumphant without claim,

then becomes the one of you

who begins to show actual interest.

the one who assesses, who takes account into action.

then eventually becomes the one who is charmed by success

and who is in alarm at the platitudes of failure.

there becomes a bigger picture in frame.

anecdotals become more than hearsay.

the self-narrative is now in measures amongst others.

decades begin to cast long shadows.

days have a sunset appeal.

what was once fluid in motion, 

now has chirps, beeps, honks, cranks, 

low rumbling sounds, 

chronics at street conners of the body,

and opinions and diagnosis as interplay on the mind.

there is a mirror facing

that has a timeline on it.

and what you see is an estimate of being.

aging is now a mountain at low tide in view.

some move with tired feet on the mind

while others pace their presence in the day.

the script does not fly off the page any more

but can be well read and pronounced with deliverance.

that which was a fountain in full aerial arrays

is now a somewhat tranquil pool, stable and reflective,

more with the containment rather than the display.

aging tends to alter the font of existence,

maybe event the cause for punctuation's emphasis.

tell me the narrative is still a self beyond concern,

a self as spirit beyond journey's toll.

that it was discovered not to be a war of effort

but a wisdom finding wherewithal,

and aging providing fruit from labor's past

and a quality of light from within 

that passes into others more easily now than then,

and that there is an economy to the carriage of being.

no more with the wild distractions of interest,

less of the self as enterprise

and the deep story of existence for finding light.

an amazing quality of light

coming through your presence and your eyes.

that is the conversation 

I want to be in your presence.

no words, all being, we carry on . . .