There are times that seem to precipitously condense into a
presence in frame shape form and feelings that declare, “I miss you”. I battle
with the emptiness and absence to fight off the full bloom and yet a vacancy
dominates. There was enough essence to cause a pure clarity to come forth but
then the feeling generated is somehow empty of fullness. It is hollow but
fragrant. The sweetness of my in-breaths causes a longing to linger. There are
pangs discharging poignant but faint memories. I am in a stall-point-float yet
life is free-fall animated surrounding me. In all honesty, I find words that
softly pour out of me but they exist as a buoyancy of lament. They say with
meaning in the description dancing in absence. I want for the feel, for the rainforest
of wholeness. There is a chasm within as if the helium balloons of my emotional
self are days old now and fallen back from the skyward within to the reality
floor, I am steadfast standing so solidly upon. Somehow I am tied to the heartfelt
heat of those feelings and their precipitous images caressing yet aware that it
is all within me to vastly free myself and once again be the cause and the
source of my own instant happiness. And yet I do not dismiss what is so present
like this within me now. There are melodic notes of delight coming my way and I
can find a means of harmony from within to both acknowledge those feelings and
yet find a momentous delight in self as supporting. The claim of absence is not
the source of the pain. It is the way I am feel-framing it that places me in
the prison of my own ever so slight abject making. Real closeness has no
boundaries defined by space. Yes, physically there is the evidence but subtly
and vibrationally; home of the heart is always at hand. It is a world I am fully
moving towards and life is this grand opportune provider. By trial and error,
self-love and reframe, in this instance, a oneness becomes my path of
one-dear-meant . . .
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