What is this?
Something above and beyond
everyday thinking?
Something,
I wouldn’t think to think?
Not even sure if it makes sense,
but thinking it anyways.
Screw logic!
Where is this coming from?
It’s busy
and I don’t have words yet!
It’s not just meaning.
It’s internally environmental.
There are feelings astir.
My feelings
but I don’t know what?
It’s like playing tag
in the pitch dark.
Some things touch me,
while others brush close by,
and pass without impact directly.
The room size, as a backdrop,
keeps changing
and the room itself
is not stable but moving,
outside of its containment of me.
Wow!
I’m on a Ferris wheel, in a room,
that is on a barge,
in an ocean, while in a storm . . .
maybe.
I can’t get a grip
on the atmosphere itself
or the mix of motions.
And that’s not
what is really in my face
happening!
This is not an “aha” experience,
because I know what that’s like.
This has some elements of
“I’m loosing it” in it.
I don’t have my personal residence
of self on the inside.
I could easily not remember
any of this
and go into shock
or amnesia afterwards.
Are you with me?
It’s like someone took
meaningful words
and wrote them
on large pieces of confetti,
that are blowing by me
in slow motion
before my eyes
and I get meaningful impact
from each word by flutter
or by whoosh,
but it makes no sense.
I am emotionally swept up
and heightened by it
but I have no clue as to what?
Part of me likes it,
really likes this
and part of me
is really not happy about this
and pounding on the door
trying to get my full attention.
Like “snap out of this!
Do something!”
But I don’t wonderstruck want to.
Regular meaning
gets me nowhere.
Really, I’m just holding postures
with that poser stuff.
I’m in check
and then recheck.
At least with this
there is some free fall
and possibly expansive delight
in a clueless way!
Hey, nobody knows.
This is all happening inside me.
I feel emptier
but more expanded,
with less identifying grip
and stupidly,
more love….
Yes, this is the closest
I’ve been to love, self love,
in a long time!
weird!
I have no identity here
but I feel like more of myself.
I don’t know how to say that,
but that’s what I feel like.
And I would love to reach out
and touch someone from here,
like with a magic dimension.
And have them turn
and realize the same.
Simply,
realize the same . . .
What is this?
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