I have a place within me
with these strange sensations,
called meanings
that take a stand.
Behind the staunch and surety,
is a subtle frenzy called value.
Its space of occupancy is illusive.
It is strung up broad and inclusive
with crisscrossing lines of cognitions
like good to bad, more to less,
and big to small.
They all seem to overlay.
Even complex continuums as
like to dislike, care for to reject,
or love to hate,
find room for display.
I do not know what use
these orientations ultimately serve
but they function within me
most automatically.
And with a great sense
of compelling immediacy,
a core choir of inner emotional voices
give sound to these perspectives.
I feel helplessness to avoid them.
I am an eavesdrop listener
and yet these strange sensations
persist quite on their own.
And I have come to live there
where value proclaims
and I respond,
in an unending season of laments
that acoustically possesses me
as a stairwell for these soundings
to hum along within me.
There is an insistence,
demanding within almost every frame.
Value-claims come to mind
like broom movements
across the pavement of each thought.
Some heartfelt interactions occur
from each sweep of the mind.
I am this habit of the engagement
yet how did this elemental task
as its motions mandate,
come to represent me,
to become me?
The rise and fall of value
is now like breathing
against the inertia
of experiences' trivial fill.
Always a way of passage is made.
All the necessities
of keeping a storied self alive
are carried out in accountability's repertoire.
Self becomes evidential
at feigning an existence disenfranchised
but unassumingly so.
There are
hugely inappropriate self-perceptions
to stir the fire
but hardly a purveyance
of conveyant wisdom to speak.
Value is like a personalized scarf
as a hip replacement
on a belly dancer.
Oh there is something to it
that is immediately appealing
but upon further reflection.
I mean,
look in the mirror!
No,
that really . . . doesn't work,
at all . . .
Value as a select from the menu
of life ongoing
is not the same
as value expressed as spirit
sharing light from within . . .
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