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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Prism to set me free

There was a time

when I watched this movie clip.

I saw it over and over . . .

In it, a small

squat boxy little car

had driven into view

stopping abruptly

as a side door

swung widely open.

One by one

an endless line

of clown-like folks

with so many

wildly colorful outfits

kept getting out.

I imagined it to be

only one person,

as that same person

getting out

over and over again.

In my mind

because of my condition,

I kept seeing this one clown anew

while none of the others

who had already gotten out

ever went away.

It got so crowded

until I couldn’t see

the car any more.

It was much like

staring at the sun,

one unit or less,

right before sunset

when reverse image darken suns

appear in multiples

from every eye fixation print

I was having.

There became so many

of these dark images

as to actually block out the view

of the sun itself, setting.

This also scared me

in much the same way

but I could not stop

watching for the last

nip of sun then

or the colorful clown flashes

of now.

So this too

was a person to me

who was a prisoner of a prism.

But for me,

for a short time

on that one-day,

this one image-replicating clown,

rather than like the dark blotches

blocking the setting sun,

seem to set me free.

Just thinking about it now

sets me free again.

Given the rise of anxiety

from both circumstances,

I wonder why.

Could it be prismatic delight

giving me relief?

Do you know what I mean?

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