essence has no needs

 

questioning the hypothesis, 

before the hypothesis is in the form 

of questioning.

doubting the effectiveness of doubt,

before doubt implores its effectiveness.

so how does 'how' work,

when the nature of the rigor of how

is in question?

what mindfulness is there

beyond the mindful rhetoric,

used to represent a languaged approach?

if I am not at the use of words,

then where within 

does the consternation of immediacy arise from?

if I am before a languaged approach,

before I am mindfully aware,

then who of me is that there,

without logic or words?

am I a sensibility 

that can't account for itself by reason

or even by the evidence of experience?

am I a presence of no expression,

an awareness preoccupied 

with pronouncement as after effect?

recognition then means,

I am late to my own beingness.

I am an experience junkie

that can't get inwardly back to home.

I am ever the exhaust-results of my being,

accounting for, as just remembrance,

yet living beyond my means

of being essentially consciousness,

as if expressively mindful.

there is,

and I am of that,

but woefully lacking in essence.

sure I am,

but not isness aware.

I am of the audience of self-consciousness

and can't cross over this barrier into being.

I am a billboard existence.

my experience is all flashcards 

of the immediate past.

think and thought are producing reverie.

I am a tourist of being

but never purely the home-source.

I am not from here,

but easily pass, as if so.

occasionally I meet someone, 

who I sense is from home.

but they are as baffled as I,

when it comes to present pronouncement.

then, we are mutually baffled

by the confines 

of not knowing of ourselves 

in a deeper way, 

than we can currently mutually sense.

we linger and we long,

and nothing can be said that deeply applies.

eventually, we are many of ourselves,

as if at the bus-stop of the moment.

waiting on what can't be lucidly declared,

as if kept in dimensions of ineptness,

somehow fully justified.

we are all experience addicted,

in some forms of obsessed, habituated,

absorbed, under the influence,

and/or sincerely wedded to.

remembrance is a form of burnout.

futurizing is exacerbating, 

as a conscious presence.

self is a bullhorn of numbness proclaiming,

yet compelled is a timeless state.

yearning has invisible wings.

drawnness has no gravity restraints.

disrobing,

until essence has no need,

to know of itself,

to be . . .