beyond ordained to be

I want more out of humanness than know.

I want more out of behavior than action.

I want what yearning beckons me to ask.

not so much with an attempt at words,

but more of what my feelings call out for,

that doesn't fit into questions for me to ask.

if yearn had speech than I could come to say.

the world to my mind is all window-shop.

feel has me as part of a greater whole.

one where words only form to separate.

but feel, my feel, wants 

what can't fit into say.

that which never leaves 

its vibratory state of expression,

that which lives on the embrace.

loves within the emersion 

can't tolerate depiction as a stance.

wants me out of the picture,

for an us ever greater unfolding.

thought keeps me captive

to a mind-style versionary account.

where emotion travels after the fact,

as if ass backwards to my deepest cause.

I want sensory for feel purposes,

not recognition as a line-up to dignify.

know is my chauffeur, 

that takes me 

where I don't really want to go.

but am taken anyways.

with know, I am stillborn to feelings

that need to live and breathe.

I want feel to be my greeter

and then introduce me to my know. 

how does this get to be so backwards?

where recognition are my shackles 

and speak is my imprisonment to say.

and so,

I want more out of humanness than know.

I want more out of behavior than action says.

I want what yearning beckons me to ask for.

and maybe want is not the term,

longing would choose to express.

even my me 

would gladly give up the cause.

to be as a deeper sense of being 

than a self is ordained to be . . .