the breath-pause 9/26/17

I have this curtain of breathing

that brushes up against me

almost as interrupting

but not really quite that way.

it is more like a side-car awareness

that gets my attention.

occasionally overcome

with the vast uncertainty it implies,

as if curtain falls, curtain rises,

change of mood perspective.

I am sure everybody does this

but maybe not keenly aware.

sure all of this shifted attention

seems suddenly relevant.

this breath pause awareness feels intimate

yet no content.

maybe it is actually an empty-philosophical

of self aware.

maybe it is somewhat summational

reflecting circumstance.

a small inward voice,

asking about the meaning of life,

caught in a momentous engulfment,

yet flooding the day.

there is no share for this with anyone else.

any attempt falsifies the feel of the moment.

sure another can read it off,

happening to another person,

but there is no intervention

as if in a conversation.

empathy is a fair but silent at-a-distance response.

I can imagine holding this as sacred,

though unexpected,

while others could have this

as apprehension approaching.

I have seen others turn this into a grandiose sigh,

still others, frozen in their own tracks,

almost unaware.

it seems to be a deeper breath than normal.

maybe a make-up breath

for constant shallow breathing,

but also an emotional segue

otherwise not announced.

it makes me think of deep ocean creatures

surfacing for air,

that kind of need we all have

in the grand scheme of things,

buried in the overwhelm of being,

as a self-conscious person,

having pause-breath interludes . . .