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Sunday, November 6, 2011

Darken mirror looking back 5

Ego comfort only rekindles pain.

Letting go is then

holding onto letting go

rewrapped as its same lesson.

I use fuss and fume as fuel

for disappointments’ discharge.

I cannot murder myself, except slowly

by not directly addressing what slays me.

Murder is a style as if to passively say

help, as avoidance, is always on the way.

Those in more obvious pain serve me.

They slip in beyond my means

to disregard.

They eventually reveal themselves to me.

Out of a love that I give forth

comes my self-love discovery.

This intimate exchange

is where my wisdom comes to serve

in order to receive.

I deny to avoid deeper pain.

This is instinctually sensible to me.

Open wounds reveal compound fractures.

I assume an unconscious splint

is there to mend me.

For me, highs have no shelf life

and lows are re-dusted daily.

If blackness were a color,

I would have a crayon box full.

If bluntness were

an eagle-scout merit badge

then I would be wearing

the high road to achievement.

If my soul has a shell of karma

then familiarity makes it my home.

I have a passion for dismissal

in self-deprecating ways.

I seek harsh self-reprimand.

Internal landmarks of discord

I use to survive.

Trust is revealed in my darkest hour.

The ocean around me

is mercy granted or denied by tides.

I am humbled into a oneness

within the egoless that flows.

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