Cliff note:
Less then a week ago
a very dear and close friend died.
Over the past two years
we had spent a lot of time together,
she had been stage 4 cancer
with complications and surviving.
The next morning, after she had passed,
I awoke to this . . .
and so I have written about it a
and now share this with you.
(4:14 am,
in the process of having a G moment)
Here I am, once again,
at the stark raving trap door
fall through no escape emptiness
of the absence of you.
From the shimmer and glow,
bathing in the presence,
the unendingness of the basking,
the floating in the gracious rise,
low key and softly subtle,
freely given as being there and love,
to the stark raving trap door
fall through no escape emptiness
of the absence of you.
What unexpected gaping raw incision
of now has lead me to this
stark raving trap door fall through
no escape emptiness
of the absence of you?
Have I,
with your ever constant assistance,
gone beyond the smallness of me,
to embrace a larger world of love
and connectedness and consideration,
only to fall back into this,
the stark raving trap door fall through
no escape emptiness
of the absence of you?
I feel small and lost
as a scrambling self again.
The stark raving trap door
fall through no escape emptiness
of the absence of you
has reminded me
of the fragileness of life
and life shared with
and in the presence of others.
May you always remind me of how
we were and what it means to be in
and with that presence of another.
I take from the barren pretend of now,
the richness offered by you upon me
and build onward and anew as we,
you and I, journey on in new forms
as the same essential connection
through presence and sharing.
We go where we need to,
we give what we can
and we shared as always and then some
with others as also part of us
as part of them.
Ever widening the blessedness and beauty
cultivated as we did from then
unfolding onward into now.
I drink from the strength of you
and am living it forward.
Feel honored by my thoughts,
blessed by my feelings
and always present in my heart
with the gifts you gave and shared
with me as you,
as I share forward with others,
on behalf of your strength,
in the light of your wisdom,
and in the honoring of the spirit
of you.
beautiful.
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