look out from within

when I look out from within,

I can't describe any stillness.

there are no nouns that apply.

everything is in motion, 

camouflaged as a oneness moving.

even location lacks referentials.

the only boundary is my sightedness,

as if I was separate in my seeing.

but my search for edges to reference from

finds a seamlessness ongoing,

as wide-eyed would take me.

the only thing that makes it in time

is my sighting as experience would account.

it is an existence with no memory.

I am the one making a movie out of it.

I could stare at a stream all day

and make assumptions about its movement

and subsequent passage,

even if it was the same surface just shimmering.

I only know in the style I use,

what I see is a reflection on my means of seeing.

my means of sensing hampers me,

as I keep to my audience sense of this.

I have it in time and space,

but I am staring at a reflection of my means.

I only have audience terms and method.

what it is that I am also part of?

I don't have the means to be conscious of,

but only to relate to with my method of experience.

this is not like that of itself.

it has a oneness integrity ongoing, 

without any sense of experience to it.

even my assignment of time

is for my memory's sake.

I don't really know how to let go

or let oneness into my sense of happening.

my senses don't know how to do that dance.

my mind is all about still-shots to be viewed,

post accounts, translations into words.

none of that is what is happening as it is.

it is a kind of consciousness that is all moving parts.

actually no parts have identity,

if parts at all.

to me, there is a sense of the whole,

but no identity of that is taken up.

it's just me capturing a sense 

from my experience skills, elaborately scanning.

I can give you a say narrative,

but I can't give you an immersion.

I can't even go there without a surrender

of what I know and my style for knowing.

we are a reductionism of awareness of this.

we have mind pixels of this,

but not the emotional fluid wholism, 

as absorption to within.

I am not my self anymore, 

if I go there.

not an I, nor a self, or a there . . .