the body heat from just saying

I want, 

before experience takes it up,

before experience fills it 

with a sensory load.

when walking,

I want contact 

before gravity overstates.

when breathing, 

I want full breath 

before oxygen is exchanged, 

before the overtures of sensing,

before my declaration for being, 

and then embraced,

even before naming premises anything, 

as separate.

I want whole, 

before singular thoughts eventfully intrude.

maybe I don't want think in override, 

as impressions register.

I want the whole breath of rain to sweep me,

but not in drops delivered and then registered.

every want I want 

is a suicide from how it is.

maybe want is the wrong choice of words,

for there is this initial presence, 

beyond where sensing intrudes,

a very short period, 

measured in time,

where what is, 

is without experiential narration.

I would trade want for immersion.

I would dance molecular, 

before movement appears.

maybe I am asking 

to leave the status of 'I'. 

just to be the now, 

without any audience perspective.

but we don't go there.

not that 'there' is like some place else,

but the there that is here,

that we refer to as there or that or it.

maybe I am asking for the printed word, 

without shape,

for all of speech to be of one sound,

for experience without time intervention.

I am a faint heart, 

for living like we do.

I am having private thoughts, 

eventually punctuated by physical death,

that a reverent inner language 

allows me to have.

I want intimacy to be evident 

yet as not intricate,

where immerse answers 

before questions form.

I can't have a thought of this, 

without the labor of depiction.

I don't mean to express, 

as if to define.

maybe I don't even mean.

maybe I just long

or have longing justify, 

as a me.

it's all consummately slippery. 

if I am asking for you to understand,

just go there for yourself.

take as much of the you off, 

as you can.

be the essence of attraction 

and leap,

before we get back to being, 

each other.

words in a pile,

there is body heat here, 

from just saying,

but cooling off, 

from back there, 

after the dimensional leap . . .