awaken me

 

 I wanted my orphan-feelings to be seen 

as young blossoms coming into bloom.

for them to be seen as the initiative

from their presentation of me,

and the adventure into my emotional state

to be with the open arms of conversation,

that they were all words of kitten-warmth

mingling with curiosity into an unknown.

I would feel soothed and responsive

that whatever had kept me as separate

was easily overcome 

by warmth now connecting me.

if it were only that simple a deed.

not only that much of this intention 

on my part

but my alien stance over time

does not yield 

to the potential of this circumstance.

it prides its definition of self

by isolation's means 

to measure and account.

that one is separate 

and every view from this, 

is further confirming

what feel has to say,

is disregarded by the self of me 

to start with

and only becomes kindling 

of an isolated burn.

where I am a distant campground, 

there is a cool burn.

there are low-key flames 

that whisper in return.

my light does not cast any shadow 

off of others.

so the hell with orphan-feelings.

I wasn't where I haven't been, 

up til now.

I have no past that contradicts, 

no juxtapositioning that begs to justify.

I am not homeless,

but am of all land.

I am all of living, 

dismissed of props.

I am you, 

without the circumstance

or the account.

the only difference for me now

is that I wear a yearning,

based upon the where you are, 

and the what you have come from.

all of those how-to's 

have not been measures to me,

of me or about me.

I am barren of those embellishments.

don't know 

if that makes me barren or blessed.

but what I do know 

is that I want the feel of the collective

to be beyond the scars and the toughness.

I want where warmth starts from within.

what are those rituals of caring?

where the self is set aside

and co-mingle has a communion of others

as the meal of the heart.

find me by the search that connects us.

I will be the stone melting in its solidness,

the lonely space filled 

with overwhelm camouflage,

the burst forth awaiting beckoning, 

the cry that gives current to the now,

the bottle of vibrancy

that needs to be bow broken to sail on.

it's the all of me in you

that wants this to happen.

arise from within

and identify me with the risk 

of your openness.

I am heart on the other side 

of my seen of opacity.

I bleed real

but damned if I don't.

so, 

awaken me from within,

until I am real before you . . .