the context of conviction

feelingness from a context of conviction,

searching these nanoseconds of onrush with inquiry,

inwardly receptive as if captivation is forthcoming,

senses prepared to be struck 

with the impending of a beholding,

before recognition is to formalize,

to be, even before any inner sequencing occurs,

before inner indifference accepts this as interfacing,

unimpeded in its private ongoing,

as one's intimate participation 

is generally done unnoticed as a given.

for then, one's knowing accepts its interceding role,

displacing immediacies as time honoreds, 

yet yearning for self-wanting to know of this,

to secretly witness how and what

one's knowing is personally intimately working on.

before experience usurps all of the oncoming.

to go between sensory's endpoint claims

and that which is the coming on as perceived.

something more subtle than finite's claims.

to be evident before

mass-mindfulness acting out.

where only energetic integrals are splendidly in play, 

before how comes into recognition,

before qualitative takes registry,

where how, usually works, without questioning.

if this becomes true,

then how will I ever find my way back

to being, as a person,

as worth this risk of letting go.

to where experience is an admittance  

of its own form of suicide,

keeping me is a slow death of featuring,

shackled as an audience of excessive passivity.

yet wanting for this, as isness, to come forth

with no return to its measure.

yes, passage without remains 

with no measure of otherwise containment,

where conviction leaves as launched,

dissolves as defined,

immerses as resolute, 

without time-binds 

or sensory loads impactfuls of recall.

context consumed in its initial impress. 

where no claim of any beginning remains.

where isness does not even know of itself

and audience, disguised as experience, 

has surrendered in the demystification 

of its relevancy as time-honored.

to know, even of these words, 

as only a cogency, 

that is yet the final distraction of itself, 

as its leave-taking expires 

from these remains . . .