my allotment of 'to'

I want to be, 

what smolder is made of,

before it took up its seethe and fester,

what long lasting is,

before its wardrobe was timelines,

what heirloom is,

in its infancy, 

before being adored,

what time passage was,

before the invention of a problem, had status,

to be aware, 

before 'beyond' came into the picture,

to have original think,

not stolen as rightfulness of thought,

to be a coalesce,  

before intimacy and private got dressed,

to feel a sense of completeness,

before the leakage of language 

got pronounced,

to be a clan-destination,

that has already arrived,

to be the town-speak

of secrecies through bullhorns,

to have common mind

with children, as run-on sentences,

yet, for all of us,

to be there,

to come to a place

of a complete loss of words.

oh, if vacancy took up more space

than time allotted . . .