beyond listening

I have heard a sound

that somehow forced me into auditory death, 

in order for me to hear it clearly.

enveloped, as if born again, 

out of a deftness,

into a sound as me, of me.

remarkably, had to experience, 

not as audience but immersion,

the death of eventfulness,

in order for this enthrallment to arise

into the ongoing.

sensory input had to end,

in order for this as arrival 

of an essential presence of being.

I had to come to an awareness of mindfulness,

to overhear myself as listening.

I had to, from a spiritual point of view,

to forgive myself, 

for my self as imposition,

as if embodiment was now present as foreign,

full fledged occupancy, ever impulsive, 

a constant immediacy, as an ever need,

to discover deeper than discovery,

as no more, of subject-object occupancy.

this sound had my thought in it,

as free reign in presence.

never had been there, 

as a person before,

to discover integrity of being,

needed no attending,

coming from beyond the all of matter.

hard to form words 

that speak of any say,

just broad strokes, wide sweeps,

deep draws, from the lips of now.

hard to sip in temperance of this drunkenness.

all the cells of my body

had to full face the immersion.

my body had an acknowledged unity,

beyond what any sexual experience alluded to.

I now could be fully awake in my sleep,

live with presence beyond understanding.

live and die and live once again.

ever onward, 

as if experience is a gaited procession.

it's not something one hears every day.

but every day still listens for, 

beyond what it hears . . .