still notice

I've noticed

the same, on repeat,

all day long.

the way I perceive the world around,

the sensory log reporting,

like a ship at far away sea,

secretly hoping for a rogue wave,

an albatross sighting.

movement on the awareness web,

as if my sensory diet 

is supposedly nutritious, 

like my acuity is challenged every moment.

I am my own drug ingesting itself.

and monotony is the ever outcome.

so I've noticed.

so who is that of me in appraisal

and what are they to the me on auto?

there must be a deeper on switch 

inside me.

some self of driver, 

that doesn't function by sensory means.

some director of deeds,

some seer of the beyond coming,

some way of release and revival.

why won't notice also take me there?

to that of me that is destined.

to that of me that escapes the habitual.

to that of me that has even keel,

as if I am the connectedness, 

through this all 

of circumstance expressing.

I got a call in

to a deeper self of me.

so can we talk?

I mean, I need a pep-talk.

some sense of edginess in earnest,

some sense of scale beyond the obvious.

we'll just say, a calling,

if that is what this has to mean.

give me a surge,

a rage of unidentifiable feeling,

that leverages the boredom

out of my day,

a way of adventure, 

featuring the mundane.

as crazy as that sounds,

make it so.

I don't want perception to be my demise.

I don't want conclusions at my gravesite. 

give me invisible wit, 

or phantasmagorical in micro doses daily.

something to sip on,

while meaningful is placidly abundant.

I would gladly keep secret,

a sense for crazy wisdom perspective.

surely I would as before, 

still notice,

but secretly, 

be abundantly self-supplied . . .