questioning the questioner 2/17/19

the eventual personal need 

to question the questioner 

inside oneself

who of me authors 

these first line of questions?

what are the premises 

that foster these questions?

who of me originated 

these questions to start with?

what assumptions existed

that this me used to work with?

where did the formulation 

of those assumptions come from?

can those somewhat original assumptions

be first person personally examined?

what if, in the deepest sense of personal truth

those assumptions really don’t apply

and maybe to me a discovery

that they never really did?

so how did that happen

that I am lead into a projection of myself

that falsely represents and directs me

into the future of my life?

and am I now assessing by historical merit,

proof of worth, 

logic based on happenstance,

lack of deep self-clarity,

reactive motivational need 

to overcome current self-predicament,

deeper callings from within

that I have successfully avoided 

but keep haunting me

into some sort of action and follow through,

or just the time in my life

when I need to reconsider my circumstances?

maybe when I get to the bottom of all of this

there aren’t really original questions

as much as there is a calling.

besides the mumble-jumble of justifiable existence

I have a sense of drawnness.

if I was the predicament of my circumstances

totally consuming and distracting,

then what calls me out?

where would my illogical drawnness take me?

when would I realize the strength of my being

to actually dedicate my time and energy

to comprehend and contemplate 

how would that be

and what would it look like in action?

then to question the revelations themselves

more deeply.

not from a proof standpoint

but from a sense of self

as disclosure of drawnness revealed.

almost a deeper sense of self 

that existed within

but was in comprise 

by reality as circumstance and storyline.

the discovery of untapped internal resources

of being, of calling, of creation.

the work of the questioner’s questioner.

carving at character to get to creature

to get to self as source . . .