the human experiment

we are on a balance beam, 

that is wider than comprehension can grasp.

but we are limited by sensory means

to precariously walk 

in an extremely narrow bandwidth of experience, 

as with a pinhole in a paper bag,

used to see out from 

with our visionary minds, 

in response to fear modeling

as our a way of living. 

subjective and cautionary versions

are as a way of self in restraint.

objectification is a misnomer of human mindfulness

in a fear-based philosophy. 

we are separate from, 

as an experience premise assumed.

we have wily mind-usage to compensate.

we create language elegance to express

yet we are intellectually separate from

that which we designate as of interest.

we are not about the isness

but essentially about the rapture of knowing.

we can get a pit pass

to be closer to,

but not be of, 

beyond what experience acquires.

at some point, referential is not immersion enough.

thought is memory justified

but mindfulness is excess baggage

for the way we have gone about it.

it is as if we accept our own encapsulation as a given 

and then we take it all around everywhere,

as an audience process of experience.

yet there is, for me, a deeper calling. 

I sense it in others also.

it has more of an emotional language base of pronunciation.

any collective of people with a stated cause 

expands in this presence.

I am not saying that they are conscious of it directly

but it is a peculiar form of math,

where one person plus another

make more than two,

but in an energetic field sort of way.

and the more added,

the more the field greater-than, expands, 

beyond the number of people accounted for.

it seems then to always be in the background

and not hardly the intended focus

but it's enhancement nevertheless.

our best version of enactment happens

in the case of major catastrophes,

like huge floods, big wave overland tsunamis,

major earthquakes in people-crowded environments,

or hurricanes over major city centers.

otherwise humans gawk, gaze, ponder,

but just in spectator mode.

but when fully present,

this other phenomenon of people generates itself. 

and this energy becomes present and volatile.

it is easier to feel for then.

there is some other means present.

everything from within becomes more confluent. 

interactional reality takes up an emotional carriage

of presence and connection.

understanding takes a wide berth 

and there is compassion and empathy present.

life has more of a sense of embodiment presenting.

even one's senses feel more useful.

there is a greater sense of fulfillment embodied

in every moment's passing.

I am not saying happy or sad

but an expansion that has more of a deliverance.

closer to the truth of being alive in living

than words could ever come to justify.

it's not accountability

but more so earnestness offered.

a living with the annoyance of doing 

beyond being's expanding presence.

somewhere coming from within

that hasn't been realized 

until the spontaneity of that moment

in its own worth of being as the expression of it.

no memory needed, no reason to justify or account.

just an approach to now, 

that somehow has otherwise been a difficult to be.

the genuine self-author

that is ever the giving 

as its form of total receivership . . .