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Thursday, November 24, 2022

it gives me a lot


I can see,

but I can't see. 

where see is in the big picture

that I'm looking out at.

and there are things out there

and my naming doesn't catch up with the imaging.

there is a stampede of named things coming this way.

I have an inner dialogue about it

but that does not match my physical actions.

we are at different rhythms and timing.

I watch as myself watching a self as me.

am I making any sense?

I am trying to stick to my words.

there is more going on simultaneously 

but I can only speak it 

as if one thing at a time.

my vision sees more but speech only says

what focus delivers

and even that keeps shifting faster than recognition.

nothing's really rushing around

but my somehow sensory reception is jumbled.

it's like I have a conveyor belt in here,

where there should be a juggler,

a small flash light on,

where there should be a floodlight blazing,

and a director of myself

who decides who of me speaks next,

for me to effectively listen and respond.

I am standing at a bus-stop

and planes are landing all around.

I seem to think it is raining

and it's a confetti celebration

but I can't hear the sound in a timing way.

did I wake up in a dream-state

or am I awake in my dream.

neither presents as reasonable.

are my words making order to understand?

I seem to be a person inside my person,

like living through myself

but as a different self.

I am not so attached to my habits

yet they go on without me, I guess.

I'm afloat inside the ship of me,

on a sea in a bottle that I am holding upright.

there is some part of me, yet to announce,

but it wants to christen the ship of me,

with this bottle of me 

and yet they don't quite meet.

I don't seem to know of the ceremony of passage 

that makes that happen.

I am not saying sanity is in question,

but certainly deliverance is the call.

I seem to have lost outer worldliness

and yet it attempts to intercede.

so, as you can well imagine

this gives me a lot to think about.

so, you?

what about you?

what do you have to say?

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