brutally honest

brutally honest happens before words arise.

it isn't honest by the time it get to words.

it's only brutal 

because it is inner experience.

experience before it registers on my brain.

it's pains that come from other dimensions.

they feel unnatural 

in the inner environment of me

but they make statements 

without word usage.

they get my attention as unskilled as that is.

it's like an unavoidable gravity happening

that doesn't affect my body

but it does deeply affect my field.

I become other dimensions, 

burdened with feel.

none of this fits into my self-narrative.

what I naively claimed as me was in shock,

is when this kind of honesty appears.

it is out of context,

as a gathering of unsaid script, 

but heard,

as if feelings have ears

and emotions have bodies.

I wanted a simpler self story,

something relatable by life's design.

but honesty, this kind of honesty,

has me here from lifetimes before,

has me act-out 

from unknowable sources of me,

has me see into people 

beyond their self grasp,

where reality appears to be 

for whiners and dilettantes. 

yes, dabblers and tenderfoots,

all claiming they are rookies at living,

as in once and done.

brutal honesty has time-warp potentials

seams that match up 

oddities and energetic truths,

that defy logic 

or the regularities of circumstance.

but for me, 

the complexity of visions overlapping

and images that speak by sight 

are constantly generative.

this honesty has no audience concerns 

or account.

it is multi-realming 

without effort's concern. 

it is eventually only brutal

because otherwise validation is non-existent

in a simpler world-setting 

of concepts and presents.

to say with the effort of words is this.

it's like being on hallucinogenics, 

yet without the side affects.

nothing compelling as with drama-ladened.

just ease 

beyond expectation's reach or grasp.

can't make it happen or make it go away.

brutal in its isolative means of presentation

and honest in the connectivity 

offered and offending.

it's all around us attending and abiding.

but we, in general, 

live in the flat-screen universe,

cope with logic and law,

struggle with internal dialogue

and project as if it truly matters.

to hurt with the details presented

and to love as if a god looks down

and language could come to serve 

a five course meal.

where understand is,

as if answers fill.

where expressing is an adequate substitute for manifest.

but manifest is taken to be behavioral

and not as spirit in full radiance.

and brutally honesty from here means

how aloneness hungers 

for that want of soul . . .