Cursed to play

so much that plays as seminal pain

with no coherent internal utterances

blurts are exhausting, out of breath

emotional welts are secreting whines

can’t gulp in enough serene air

towards any fix of heartwarming calm

rollercoaster mind, racing in space

burning rubber of up and down soul

as nowhere movements of false escape

deep seated tears too remote

for the body to come up with a weep

and no retorts towards a merit defense

can’t agree to withdraw or to hide

without a bungling fury in overwhelm

a self administered mutilating diatribe

with no other eyewitnesses but me

solemnity as an abusive negligence

is to throttle and smother

in a self stifling way

by these, my invisible overruling hands

a reality of world is laughing

at this charade’s contortion mime

for sorrow deep seated is constrained

every thing external has eyes

that sting in a sandblasting way

no solace to say out loud for reprieve

with no trump cards to infatuated pain

yet cursed to play

with nothing that is blessed or sacred

to waste my time . . .