there is always
looking back
the last first time
pouring the syrup
of wide mouth innocence
as it first appears
on everything
this outpour
as a rush of newness
with everything meeting it
face up
almost as a formula
set forth in slow motion
to be endured
in the memory room within
way beyond
what receivership expected
what purity could this be?
beyond even
the trappings of recognition?
as one could say
“from beyond the beyond”
and then . . .
what is the take
from the soft fireworks
of meaning that sources
without the default of subjectivity
without the war room of tradeoffs . . .
without quick twitch linear considerations?
what ‘then’ is implied
beyond linearity’s frailness?
what could this embodiment be
without soul reference?
there is always
the last first time
as it now is
and only this . . .
as every first last time
as long as time is that bystander
somehow handing it to me
giving it to me
as this now
for then
there is always . . .
this last first time
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