self-empathy 6/19/19

I am having a blizzard, 

rain-soaked emotional state 

in my brain.

a fury of tears, with no place to go.

gravity to the left and right 

but nothing grounding.

how can this be uplifting sorrow?

the door to open is in the sky.

but which ever way is up 

is trouble-tumbling to me.

yet a torment of roses, 

heavy with fragrance,

as if wings of angels are near by.

each moment is as an eyesore to face.

I have no continuum to align this all,

straight away.

some place within me has carriage.

but where I have mouth and voice

is beleaguered and in dismay.

how is this small of the universe 

so myopically large?

and I have a loose fit

for believing any of this.

not that reality ever offered me a firm grip.

I like that emotions are buoyant within me.

but some episodes seem lost 

as if to purpose or meaning.

since what has rational ever done

to clear the slate or end this drama?

I am my own child-like comforting. 

and it will come 

and I will reflect on all of this

as grand and masterful 

but beyond my scope to grasp 

when I was in it.

I appreciate the pallet 

even when I’m messed up with these colors.

I can’t name what this is

but maybe it is a cleanse 

or an endpoint to frustration.

but I would bestow this on everyone

as much as the joy of towering sneeze.

this all maybe square-one with a cleaning cloth.

it is certainly more than just a crying rag.

there is sacred in consternation 

and wealth in the undefined.

but back to simple steps after cloudbursts

and self-empathy to become refined . . .