‘try' is excess mental baggage 3/13/19

“I’ll try”

is the point of verbal entry

but the presumption of inherent logistics

is already deeply in place

I’ll try presumes an audience of self

in that I will be watching myself

do what ever that be

bound by some behavior in action

‘try’ is a guaranteed fallback position

guarding against future criticism 

for effort made

it implies that I also will be watching myself

do whatever it is 

as if both a participant and also as audience

it is the introduction of self-conscious

into the depths of the experience

as if watching while doing is a protection necessity 

so that the effort at focus is divided

the defense for whatever the attempt

is already being in place

account for one’s action is weighing heavily

as a built-in 

by the nature of the announcement

“I’ll try”

this is a form of sabotage

self-inflicted and then,

in an original sense, personified

all of this is mental baggage 

to the physical action to be taken

try implies audience of potential account

and subsequent criticism as account

under the devotion to apprehension

one learns the position of the phrasing

“I’ll try”

so much of a deeper self philosophy 

has to come into play

for “I’ll try” to be dismissed 

from the attention directed 

and the effort put forth.

everyone has to face the seduction

some will conquer and dismiss

others will shun and be at affect

self-consciousness has so much baggage

as if the journey of life requires it . . .