you distracted yourself

You distracted yourself

and you are the light.

You distracted yourself

by choosing

the original parents you did

and even then

you were the light.

You distracted yourself

by feeling so orphaned

the way you did

and yet you came in

as the light.

You distracted yourself

by expecting

to be received

as realized and sanctioned.

You were not

and yet you kept inwardly

to being the light.

You distracted yourself

by the transit of innocent isolation

confounded by simple expectation

convened as a child

apparently unwanted

but you kept to the light.

You found yourself

a set of adequate parents

and proceeded to rebel

as if you were cheated

by being abandoned

but also you kept to yourself

the light within.

You grew up

reactive and street smart

clever and wily

yet true to the secret

of your light within.

You discovered

your projective abilities

your dramatic flair

your appease of presence

and idealized

from the light within.

You distracted yourself

into the appearances

gave yourself a status of being

and proceeded to hide

your light that is within.

You battled with life

as circumstance

upheld your independence

dialogued with more rebellion

yet you were still

clearly the light within.

You distracted yourself

with inner comprehension

of outer chaos

and older men

life filling activity

and yet you upheld

your light from within.

You distracted yourself

by going through men

by falsely identifying

who you really were

and being spit fire

and flashpoint angry

about it all

but yet keeping

in powerful reserve

in the light of you

from within.

You distracted yourself

into having children

girls

as in four of them

filled the days

with majors

of need and dependency

upon you

and though muted

held the precious light

clearly within.

You distracted yourself

into service

and caring for others

as a means

of anger and rage ventilation

though still a purity

of heart besides

and even if apparently belittled

yet deeply instilled

as a light from within.

You distracted yourself

into a meaningful life

based on hidden

but subversive reactions

yet heartfully able

to clearly respond

to the needs of others

even at the expense

of your own needs

and yet deeply private

existed the light of you

from within.

You distracted yourself

by caring for others

and compelling circumstance

and yet your critical mind aside

the light of you

continued from within.

You distracted yourself

into positions and perspectives

that although they kept you

in avoidance

they also brought

by inference to your mind

the deeper issues

to be addressed

and the light of you from within

got acknowledged.

You distracted yourself

from directly attending

to these as issues

by incessancy and transition

and others as representation

and need

yet the light of you

has never left

or faded from

the light from within.

You have distracted yourself

with life and death

career and departure

children into adulthood

deaths of mothers,

financial shape shifting

relocation

complete and fully comical boredom

and yet engaged

with your light from within.

Even from before your birth

this light of you

only gets stronger

and more in demand.

You distracted yourself

to the edge

of your compiled

and exaggerated story.

That story

that you told to others

as opposed to

the inner truth

that will and does

slowly emerge

given that light of you

that is that same light

that guides you now.

You have distracted yourself

while you think to the brink

to the advent

of something essential new

but to no avail

as the same inward guiding light

grows to prevail.

You distracted yourself

until that too

you as your creative distraction

in its own boredom

is forced to genuinely respond

from a deep affirming

to the lighted-ness of you

from within.

You distracted yourself

by claiming simplicity of being

when such complexity

so eventually defines

as the light of your being

does reclaim

to simplify

by taking away

your control metaphor

your audience need

and by strengthening

your inner voice of surrender

to your higher self

and your need for adequate isolation

as a self custodian

of all your possessions

comes to impress upon you

that the end of distracting yourself

is coming

and the light of your being

is still dwelling within.

You distracted yourself

into discovering that

for most of your life

no one has had access

to who you really are

or who you really are

even to yourself

but now you get

to compellingly inquire

with the aid

of the light of you

coming from within.

Soon your distracted self

as best evidenced

by the usage of your critical mind

will all reach a re-ordination

and the light of your being

will reign more clearly.

You need not remember

nor refrain

that you are that light.

Your life has brought you forth

in a long

and strangely undeniable manner

but nonetheless

as of now

you are

by fully knowing your light

truly as you

as you are

the light of your being.

(such is the life of A to Z)