what intimacy asks for

 

what do you want 

out of intimacy with another?

first-cause innocence?

clues to deeper truth of oneself 

exposed by another?

the nuance traits revealed 

of how one gets deeper self-knowledge?

a sense of sacred, 

buried in the backside of behavior?

forget all the obviousness of behavior.

sure we can all ogle and aah,

have impactful memories,

commitments and conquerings.

but the search for deeper truth about being?

it's all in there. 

somewhere in the intimacy of it all,

there is the sight of another's spirit,

in a momentary flash,

even the longing answered

of seeing another's soul revealed.

somewhere in the patchwork 

of intimate relating,

beyond the most evident

of behavioral rituals,

there is pause for insight from beyond.

sure we all could easily settle for great sex

or meaningful closeness

or validation of being.

but really, 

we are all asking the questions

that can not be formed

before they actually come to reveal,

a validation of likeness of being,

a sense of greater than known,

a compelling linger of oneness,

though not named as such,

but felt from ever so deep within.

we will go through 

all the behavioral channels

disguised as living life

and even procreating,

just to get to that place within

where spirit reigns, 

from deep within, 

even beyond a sense of self identified.

a place of source

that races past experience's grasp

only to be so real

that embrace is but a reflection,

but be of it.

it has a certitude,

more sacred 

than acknowledgment can offer.

and we all chase after 

that moment.

the baptism of truth beyond confirmation,

the live-in, 

the be of, 

the ever pour

that self love offers,

when finally acknowledged as

the gift of oneness coming through . . .

integrity has no secrets

at times, 

there is the breath of a god

that whispers to me

but that meaning 

is beyond my comprehension.

I go with the embrace 

of warm breath delivered,

while meaning 

chases after my understand.

I live in these occurrences

without the necessities 

of comprehension's takeaways.

the encampment of now 

is always offered

but will not ride with me 

into my future.

I am hurting 

with the arthritis of the past, 

as my laboring with expectations, 

as going forward

only to discover 

that nothing lives

for the entertainment of valued, 

but everything is

of the presence there of

as integrity has no secrets, 

in its livingness . . .

the ever-birth abounding

life is not momentary rebirth,

in that, experience is the aliveness, 

as the measure.

experience is the result.

and how results gets ingested,

limits the future, 

as for possibilities. 

we are all terming toward lesser states

as directed by experience 

as a formal guide.

we fall into repetitious outcome,

when experience is the directive.

we are essentially drawn to the cutting edge

but experience only superficially defines 

towards familiar as recognition's magic.

if we channeled the unknown of us

rather than projected 

towards contextual acceptance,

our path toward evolution 

would be breathtaking.

but we are a species of indoctrination,

of the first order.

and therefore, 

the lowest common denominator, 

is our means for establishing worth.

Machiavellian load-bearing 

is as establishment.

as a theoretical joke 

but possibly a sincere inquiry,

do you think, 

that if anyone reached enlightenment,

they would want to come back 

and tell us all about it?

there is no mediumship of tell 

that would render, decipher, encode, 

decode, construct, construe 

or paraphrase to any experiential adequacy.

we would all still be audience, 

possibly entertained.

we have to go into think 

but not ravage it back into thought.

we would have to stay 

on the cutting edge of think

until we get to an awareness 

before it has surrendered to words

we would have to sense 

that we are channeling 

as an awareness beyond self-limitations.

not for pronouncement purposes

but as an integral connection 

to possibly higher mind,

for the lack of a better understandable term.

so if we keep the think

but abandoned the thought,

maybe that seems incomprehensible,

that one would go beyond 

a self-sense of awareness

to a means beyond conventional experience,

beyond an assumed viable means 

of presence as communication.

in a quantum way, 

this is happening all of the time.

we are yet unaware and beside our selves,

if it happens to us as in through us.

the intuitive, the psychic, the inspirational

and the spiritual, though non-religious,

all are pathways of influence 

beyond our mundane account 

of self-existence.

there is, as a mediumship, which offers

but our rational overrides, 

as if linear-thinking, predominates.

this is our home planet, 

as we cultivate it,

for now.

but how we possess what we claim

is basically un-evolved human-nature custodial activity.

or our lives are not momentary rebirth

because we don't live or practice 

in that way of consciousness.

if we channeled in free-verse consciousness,

then quantum would have 

a conscious mediumship,

and we would be, more the presence

of the ever-birth, abounding . . .

knowing of a wider gaze

how does knowing help at all?

how circuitous is understand's pall?

understanding has taken on 

a capacity of impotence.

we understand to know where not to be

and what not to do.

what we need to know

to avoid the drone of fitful existence,

the endless series of have-tos or need-tos,

even if knowing was only a wardrobe 

to wear in each passing moment appropriately.

I'd rather be nude 

every breathtaking possibility.

I'm not saying innocence reigns.

I am saying that know is burdensome.

if I only have knowledge 

for protection purposes,

the vanity of that is grounds for capitalism

to breed within me

and me not the impetus wiser.

I wanted know 

for the anatomy of discovery.

I wanted know as innocence invitational.

I wanted know as an introduction to vast,

to implore the gods of mystery 

to adventure me,

to expand within the tool-work 

of comprehension.

but knowing is flagrant as without shame.

knowing is vile as in virulent silent despise.

knowing is so pedestrian, 

to the point of everyday-dull.

it makes wisdom seem overdressed.

how can thought itself be so passé? 

knowing has lost its sacredness of approach.

it's like a tagalong that won't shut up.

one could want for mindfulness

to be a secret room,

where knowing can't find the entry.

we did invent shoes without laces.

maybe we can come up with awareness

without knowing.

a kind of presence, 

based on inward state of being,

impervious 

to the outward onslaught invasion.

or a knowing where presence of being

is undisturbed by the import forthcoming,

a knowing of a wider gaze

than the on rush of experience 

can affect . . .

no retort for that

I don't have a retort for that,

but I do have an ongoing.

a flash-flood celebrates in its ongoingness.

tornados do rise up from deliverance 

and continue on.

sun never has a 'say what' time of day.

whatever had a moment of attention,

now has a short lived prominence 

in the past.

I have memories of passings,

when I drove the fastest in a car, ever,

but only now remembers 

the impression on me that it made.

when I sneezed in the middle of a yawn

but only remember the feeling 

of that physical oddity.

when I hurt so bad, 

I thought I left my body,

only to return to a circumstance 

and a coping.

when I surprisingly found some hard cash,

not sure now of the amount,

but do remember the seriousness 

of the moral dilemma. 

when all those times I thought 

age was important,

to finally come to that day, 

when age was such a bogus thing 

to be concerned about.

when I thought that thought didn't matter,

but then the thought came to me

that was more than just belief 

inwardly recited,

and I was stunned 

to have its emotional presence.

and then when I think about dying

and looking back at it all,

only to realize, 

I will probably be looking forward

and surprise myself, 

that I didn't think of this sooner . . .

oh, to be ageless

we thought we could outthink aging.

and we have.

but we can't take thought seriously

as a method or a guide.

our lives are labors of accessorizing.  

we labor with tension,

anxiety, self-generated stress,

stages of depression,

and generally feeling states of isolation.

all of which are tickets towards aging.

we wanted take our bodies 

along for the ride.

we wanted experience 

to be further stimulating.

we wanted horizons to open

for perspectives to transcend,

for a sense of liberation to answer our calls.

but what method do we have

that is not insulted by our apparent means?

maybe in the mind's eye, there is a wisdom

that could not be translated into words.

maybe reincarnation seemed viable 

for some.

look, if we basically understood 

the psychology 

of all human time, 

advancing and accumulated,

would aging be the escape 

or the whittle-down

as so declared?

how smart would we be 

in an in-time ongoing scenario?

if living on, 

gave one a more profound perspective,

then how dumb would it be

for looking back at the past?

would we commit to the methods 

we now use?

would we discover that the hidden agenda

disguised behind governments 

and otherwise society

would be so false an orientation? 

we would have to have 

to create an ageless society

to even comprehend how silly it all is 

to start with?

if we were all ageless

then history, as it is accounts for,

practical reality as it is addressed,

and our claims of wants and needs

would all be radicalized 

beyond literal belief.

even the construction of primary belief,

our way of pursuing living,

and the notion of a self

would be subject to 

deep inroads of suspicion.

so how to transition into ageless?

thought would be the consumption 

of bad-habits

of the mind.

remembering would become 

an unavoidable neurosis. 

what would be the great philosophy 

for the future

that is then not based upon modeling

that falsifies existence for now?

for it then to become 

of a worth in the moment,

it would certainly not be the evidence that now presents.

we would have to be deeply soul worthy 

to not be mocked by the sheerness 

of current existence.

memory would be a new dis-ease.

retention would be a syndrome of concern.

maybe the search for now 

would become more real,

as sort of the essence of what to live for.

the sense of family or clan or culture

would seem over zealous,

and for no apparent reason at all.

who would be asking about procreation?

parenting would become obsolete 

as a concept.

our definitional sense of everything

is subject to complete overhaul.

where we are right now,

would have very little to offer

for the long haul,

as in living forever.

we would be done with 

projecting our self images.

we would somehow eventually discover 

the futility

of our current ways.

and the nonsense generated with education and job security,

as well as maybe even gender

and for sure race representation 

as meaningful.

the past becomes a yawn.

the future has less bearing on the day.

and now, the refinement of presence 

in the now,

would be more than just a hobby 

of occupancy.

that is, it would be amazing

if we ever thought 

that we could actually outthink 

and be ageless . . .