Full Circle, part 1 of 3 * 1/4/13

Sid had been with the force. Many years, most of his adult life fulfilling his father’s dream, to follow in his footsteps as a city cop.  Never ever considered anything else. Even when times were tough with people down on cops. The internal crime or the unstoppable street violence was affecting the morale. Every cop, now a target on the street, day after day. But Sid never gave it a thought: only his father’s wishes, he was fulfilling. “What did Sid want?” Finally his wife Martha, in a fit of anguish, blurted out to him. What with three young sons, bleak times, she could well imagine him dead, her alone, three boys to raise. But for Sid, this was the first time it ever crossed his mind.  Michael, the oldest, was sitting on his lap one off-day morning. Sid’s knees were still sore from a week’s worth of walking the beat, but it was Mike’s bump of a deep thigh bruise from a week earlier police work scuffle that got through his silent wondering.  How had this all happened? Here Sid was, far into his life, apparently no options but to live on into the obvious. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t unhappy either. He was .... satisfactorily content, except for the money, the hours, and Martha’s constant worrying. Why, by his standards, he had a fine life, one his father would be very proud of for himself and for his only son. While times were changing, and Sid would be the first to say, “you can’t stop progress, it’s all around us,” he would never say it, but he had tradition in his veins, his father’s values for honesty and service, his father’s sense of love for people, his people, the people on his beat, their lives and his caring. Even when enough years to make Captain came, he turned it down. And for all the reason he came up with to say to his wife, to say to his buddies, even to say to his kids, he eventually and clearly said to himself, “I want to stay near my people. Hell! You make Captain and people think that’s a big deal. I see it, as a moving away. You’re not out there anymore. Too many meetings, too much office busywork, not enough time in the neighborhood........No! I can’t do this. To them or to me.”

Not that he ever said any of this aloud. But to himself alone, for self-fortification. After all, he had served a long time. Everyone figured him for the step up. Lord knows over the years many of the friends in the force, either died or retired before their time.