the notice of stillness * 9/9/13

How to come upon stillness

with less than stillness to start!

How to bring on eruption

and yet simultaneously, search quiet.

Does the movement of thought

have a quality of loudness?

Are all mind-wardrobes often louder

than the skin we’re each in?

Taking mental interest in something, anything,

is distracting in a deeper sense of awareness.

How to arrive at stillness without effort, 

without the monument of intent.

Is it to come without frame, without grip,

without approaching

from separate from it to it?

Who of us would ask for a how (?)

and not be consigned to linearity and separatism 

as our original form of asking?

How to have stillness, be of stillness,

and not be burdened with the arrival

of the experience of lumbering stillness!

Is any sensory input rude to the core of being?

Does knowing have any natural attributes

that are not destroyed by the conscious possession 

of them in the mind?

Can stillness actually be

an ‘isness of motion and being’?

Can we function below our awareness capacity

and in being so, are we are truly living beside

or outside ourselves, with very minimal access

to consciously incorporate within?

How do we hurl our true spiritual aliveness 

from a sourcefulness within 

yet through the morass of self 

we generally generate to give ourselves 

an experience of being?

With our minds that particularize 

and stand in identy positions, 

immersion and oneness only have conceptual rank, 

with no real application as obvious or eventual.

Our words could not be more of a lobby’s sway 

away from what we would want

to intend and we yearn for directly.

But even intend and yearn 

have their application limitations for the baggage

they would bring on this stillness journey.

The now of this, has no future to arrive (!),

not even a this of this (!),

no casual method of arrival!

This is a construct without essential source.

The notice of stillness does not really exist.

Stillness is just a concept itself.

It is a concept on the rebound, if you will,

from the comparative truth business

of a consciousness we call, the fill of our lives.

There maybe a ‘still-isness’, 

but not bound to recognition as a possibility, 

in our mindfill tradition of naming and claiming.

There is a quantum existence within each of us

but it does not report

or have report method or characteristics.

We are a pride of bystanders

yet of it, to it and in it.

Our illusion is made up of it

but not accessible for us to turn on it

and make it claims!

The naming of stillness

is an earnest koan of our choice.

But then choice, as we have it,

is just a mind game of our own making . . .