blurts that are born

what I'm willing to speak about.

how does that start, the embarrassment of it?

thoughts that surface as words in mind-sentences

as the result of inward images crashing into emotions

and some how safety in resulting words that gather.

crowded within, with words that cluster-urge,

where the only retrieval as release is to speak out.

spoken as if feedback, even to myself 

but outwardly overheard.

words, now properly dressed as heard out-loud

is this talking to myself in front of an audience,

disguised as if intended conversational?

but really not the same 

as intentionally talking to myself.

am I now an unrevealed third party 

to what was said,

pretending to have an inward competence 

thus shared?

this is a mild calamity 

complete with gestures and warming.

this is like an unexpected sneeze in a public setting

with kleenex in hand, 

covering up thoughts with gestures,

guarding against these emotions 

that come with bullhorns.

I feel like the M.C. at a special 

yet occasional self-event.

the topic at hand seems so situationally out of place.

I try to conversationally excuse myself 

without saying that.

like, "what I just said, you only overheard in passing

as there was a third party of interest listening 

but now gone".

so where were we before this all happened to us?

ah yes, I was silently in my head 

and you were casually just a passerby . . .